Son#2 has now been suspended TWICE for smoking at school and he’s now been bust AGAIN for it!
WTF?
He’s throwing his education away – I wouldn’t be surprised if they now expel him.
And after last night’s ugly fallout with Son#1, I’m actually ready to throw in the towel. Motherhood can take a flying leap. I’ve had it.
I know you’re right Dad … I so wish that all those important things during the formative years had been put in place. As you know, this is where the X and I differed greatly in our beliefs about how to raise the boys. I can’t help but harbour some resentment towards him about this. especially as I have TRIED to put these things into place since he left but I get nowhere. I just get laughed off or disregarded and I feel quite helpless. I think time has run out … although I continue to try. Ever hopeful that maybe, just maybe, things will click into place.
There is no manual on how to raise kids because they are all different but there are a few principals that apply to all especially in their formative years – setting boundaries, discipline, respect for elders, chores around the house, earning their pocket money etc. Unfortunately I think you are reaping the negative rewards for not having much of the above in place. This is not a blame game ( too late for that) but maybe some of this still needs to be put in place?
Leon, wow … stunning advice … thank you!
Boy oh boy, raising kids is incredibly challenging. Like you, I had no idea just how hard it really was until I had my own. But I think perhaps we all only understand this when we have our own mini-me’s running around hey? I keep telling my Dad just how much I appreciate what an awesome job he did of raising me – no idea how he coped 🙂
Getting through to Son#2 at the moment seems like mission impossible – he seems completely disconnected. Even his principle, who adores kids and has an amazing way with them has told me that this boy is the first child he’s just never been able to connect with.
But you are right, there is an underlying cause here and I must get to the bottom of it all.
And making more changes to ALL our lives is also something that must happen … it’s starting, slowly but surely. There are many areas where things can improve for us as a family and yes, concerted effort is required. Absolutely.
I used to think raising kids was easy until I had one. And ok, so mine is only a toddler so I can’t really comment either on these more complicated issues.
But from what you describe, does it not make sense to look into the cause for the smoking. I don’t think it is so easy for anyone to quit smoking, why would be easy for a teenager? Do you smoke? Why not quit together? Is he under peer pressure? Would it make sense to encourage him to move into other social structures at school? Does he do sport?
I would sit down with the principal and discuss your options and then make a concerted effort to apply change on many levels of his life.
You are clearly a loving mom and from what you write your boys adore you. Hang in there.
Oyness … frustration indeed! What the hell is going through his head???
Thanks JOC. Thank you. I’m really so very lucky to have such caring folk around me. I would be in deep shit without the support of you all.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH………….Scream Therapy tends to work quite well for me! Sit in your car and just scream like there’s no tomorrow! Seriously though, there are no words to make this right or any easier to deal with. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, but I can identify with the large amounts of frustration that I’m feeling towards son #2 right now. All I can say is YOU ARE AMAZING for still managing to get up and smile every day. Don’t give up! Here if you need ANYTHING…..as always 🙂 Just ask!
Lots of love.
Steve, thank you. I know, there’s nothing to really say is there? It’s just one of those kak things! Pfft …
But thank you for your love and support (as always), that means so much to me xxx
Thanks B xxx
Dad, I have a feeling that drastic consequences are on the way – I’ll be VERY surprised if he’s not expelled for this. And then what? Where the hell does he go? I’ve spoken to his dad about it all … we have no clue anymore.
Prior to this, after the last episode, he was suspended, grounded and had ALL his luxuries taken away – no phone, no tv, no computer, no Xbox. What MORE can I do? I don’t know, I honestly don’t.
Wish there was something could I could say but I can’t.
Love you lots lady, good luck!
Maybe the time has come for some drastic consequences.
One can’t keep doing the same stupid thing over and over and keep expecting to get away with it.
That applies to both Son1 and 2
I dont have advice.. I really dont.. I only have a shoulder if you need one..
Just hang in there.. dont give up.. not yet.. just hang in there..
B