An eventful night it’s been!
I had to take Son#1 back to the clinic just now … I’ve been on the phone to his dad to update him on the story and get his input on how to handle things.
Luckily Son#2 was fast asleep during all of this and was spared the drama.
The counselor will see Son#1 first thing in the morning and after that well, I’m not sure if they’ll allow him out again this weekend.
I’m distraught … sitting here alone in the dark, feeling so helpless and sad and afraid.
SHIT!! SHIT!! SHIT!!
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UPDATE: 09/08/08 8:20am
In the light of day, looking back at last night, I realise this:
I’m such an IDIOT!! Why the fuck did I leave alcohol in the house??!!! I feel so stupid!!!
DAMMIT, you dumb woman!
I should have been more careful. I should have thought about him getting up in the night and quietly hunting for booze. If he hadn’t come to me with an empty bottle in his hand, asking me to help him, I would never have fucking known!!
Oh god …
In the car last night, on the way to the clinic, through red-hot tears and pungent whiskey breath, he said to me: “Oh Mom! Why did I DO this? I have fucked up my life!! I am going to have to stay there longer, I’m going to fail this year, I won’t get into university. My whole life is fucked!”
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UPDATE: 09/08/08 10.30am
So the X has just arrived with Son#1 to fetch Son#2 for breakfast – he fetched our boy from the clinic and spoke to the counselor there (Tag Team Partner No.1).
The deal is that Son#1 is either in his dad’s care 100% of the time, or he’s at the clinic. He is not allowed to be here with me anymore because I, and I quote, “am obviously not strong enough to handle him.”
Nice.
Do I like hearing those words?
No.
Is it a true statement?
Not in my opinion, no.
Will I do what the professionals think is in the best interest of my child?
Yes.
Yeah, it was a bit heavy!!
I’m not too fussed about the X, must be honest … I don’t trust the guy anymore and I’ve no longer got anything invested in his behaviour either …
Fuckinghell! I’m catching up on your weekend posts now only (no idea whats taken me so damn long) and I’m shocked!
Your ex better not let you down in this, its so unfair!
I got a phone call from the X … he told me that he did not agree with the counselor at all and that if I wanted to challenge them, he would back me up. He said: “It’s bullshit, they don’t know you and the exact same thing could have happened at my place!”
He said the reason he didn’t put up a stink with the counselor (whom thinks is an asshole) is because he didn’t want to make an issue at that moment in case the counselor changed his mind about letting Son#1 go out for a few hours with him yesterday.
I appreciate his verbal support – whether or not it will translate to anything on a practical level remains to be seen … but I’m used to people (and him in particular) letting me down in that way, so it wouldn’t be a complete shock if nothing ever materialized out of that “I’ll support you” statement.
You have so much going on at the moment and you are only human – so much weighing you down – you REALLY cant be expected to think of everything!!! You have never been in this situation and those prats at the clinic SHOULD have informed you !!! Thinking of you, if and when you need a friend i am just a phone call away.
What a crock of shit!!!! That man (the X) has to be the most manipulative person I have ever come across.
He has hardly been involved in any of this process and now becomes the big hero.
What happens now? He is away all the time! Does Son#1 just sit at the clinic?
As linda says use the time to catch up on yourself.
Your reaction to all of this – really mature.
It’s an outrage. But I hope you spoil yourself in the resulting ‘free time’. Make it work for you.
I really think you should speak to the people there that the warn other people/parents about this. Its really unfair that they said that but seriously well done for just accepting it for the good of your boy. I honestly can’t believe how strong you are! Thinking of you all
@Justbcoz “Perhaps though, this is the trigger to make him realise that he has to stay in there, he can’t come out yet and that he still has a lot to sort out …”
Spot on -take what looks and feels like a negative and turn it round into a positive.
@SwissTwist – I can’t help but blame myself … but yes, I do take comfort in the fact that he came to me.
@Dad – No-one gave me a heads-up, no. This is one of the issues I have with them – they DO NOT communicate with the families!! But I should have pre-empted this, I should have been more careful.
I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later, but I feel like dork. Perhaps though, this is the trigger to make him realise that he has to stay in there, he can’t come out yet and that he still has a lot to sort out …
With you all the way and I agree with all SwissTwist says.
Did anyone from the clinic give you a heads up about the booze at home factor?
Unfortunately it was probably to be expected at some time.
Maybe better now while he was with you than later while out on his own?
*hugs* Don’t blame yourself, don’t be angry at yourself. You can only think of ‘so much’, you can only do ‘so much’. You’ve had a lot going on and you’ve done your best up to now. Don’t loose heart. Take comfort (what little there is) that he did realise his mistake and came to you just in time.
Be strong, we’re all thinking of you.