Went to fetch my boy from the clinic just now. I’m not feeling like a very happy chappy right now … I haven’t had a good day – haven’t really been able to concentrate on much at all … blegh.
Son#1 is at home now – he crashed straight away, and he’s allowed to sleep here tonight and tomorrow night. However, he has to check into the clinic for about 20 minutes on both Saturday and Sunday at 10am. He’s allowed to spend some time with his dad again, so I think that’ll be for breakfast or something tomorrow, with Son#2 as well. But those are the only outings allowed. And none of his friends or the GF is permitted to come over.
This may sound really harsh, but I’m starting to feel very trapped and claustrophobic! I was *hoping* that I would get a bit of time to myself – it’s seriously been months since I had even a day “off”. Is that terribly selfish of me? I mean, of course I’ll do what’s right for Son#1, no question about it, AND I want to spend time with both the kids, but I’m starting to feel like I really need a break, somehow.
Urgh. I don’t know … perhaps it’s all getting to me a bit. The thought of being in the house all weekend is rather yucky, especially as it’s the first weekend Sir G won’t be here with me. Shit.
I’m trying to hang in there, just feeling a bit bored and sad and lonely …
@JOC … thank you for love, hugs and strength … this is really hard.
Of course it’s not selfish, it’s completely understandable. and what you’re feeling is normal and allowed! of course i know that doesn’t make it any better or any easier to get through the weekend though 🙁 So for now know that I’m thinking of you and sending you all the love, virtual hugs and strength to get through the next few days!
One up to you for doing what’s best for your boy. and being so brave! I can’t imagine how hard it must be. But you’re doing an amazing job!