Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, at 8am, I am taking Son#1 to check into a clinic for a 4-week in-patient treatment programme.
The clinic is an adolescent unit (the only one in the country), dealing specifically with young adults in crisis. They provide therapeutic treatment for all sorts of issues from anxiety and depression to eating disorders to sexual and substance abuse.
As you know by now, Son#1 has recently hit an all-time low and he’s been struggling to cope with life. He is overwhelmed with emotional trauma right now and despite putting up a very brave front, he just can’t deal with everything on his own.
I am so relieved that my beautiful boy is at last going to get the treatment and therapy he so desperately needs. He has suppressed so much over the years and all his anger, frustration and pain that he’s carrying needs to be addressed, very urgently.
It’s taken just over a week to arrange everything and a lot of gentle persuasion and encouragement on my part to reassure him that this is the right thing for him, that he does need help and that a live-in facility (recommended by his new psychiatrist) will accelerate the treatment process so that he can get better as quickly as possible.
I’ve also had to meet mild opposition from his father, who wonders if this is all necessary and doesn’t really see the point. I was expecting that. But, thankfully, he has bought in to the idea now, albeit with some hesitation and he has also indicated that he is willing to attend the parent support sessions with me on Fridays. That’s good news, because he definitely needs to become more involved.
So, that’s where we are right now … gearing up for the month ahead. I’m not tackling any work today – I’ve re-arranged my schedule so that I can be with my boy and get him ready for tomorrow …when he wakes up =)
He’s going to be fine. This is the best thing for him and I am so proud of him for seeing that.
To those of you who know me and are finding out about this for the first time, I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. This was only finalized a couple of days ago and I did not want to say anything until I was 100% sure that it was going to happen. I also wanted to check with Son#1 first that he would have no objections to me saying anything, and he doesn’t …
Onwards and upwards
xxx
My beloved grandson son#1
It takes a vast amount of courage to seek help for your problems especially at your tender age, you are awesome. This journey you are embarking on will be long and you will be faced with many obstacles along the way, but don’t be discouraged, you are setting out to find that wonderful person within you and find him you will, just know that you have all my love and positive energy with you always. I am sooo proud of you!
My beloved daughter,
You will play a great role in this journey as well and just as you were there for me when I went on this same journey with your sister, so will I be there for you. A mother’s love is always there, , it’s unconditional and neither time nor circumstance can change that , this is what you are showing son#1 and for this I thank you. Take heart, know that you are surrounded by good friends and family who care very much about you, this will give you the additional courage to overcome the cloudy days in the weeks and months to follow. You are never alone.
It’s hard for anyone to admit they need help, but I am so glad to hear that he will be getting the help he needs.
All of you stay strong and you’ll all make it through this.
🙂
Thank you Mariechen xx
thank you for letting me know. I have always had a particular soft spot for son number one, and send loving, healing and protective thoughts to both of you. May you discover strengths that you didn’t know you possessed. My thoughts are with you both and I wish you only the best.
You are two brave people.
Love
Mariechen
@Dad me too 🙂
I so agree with all BigFriendly has said.
As a male I know it’s hard to admit to yourself and others that you need guidance in sorting things out. It’s especial hard when you are a young man. I’ve been there. The best thing I ever did was seeking out that guidance, (a bit late in life, but as Richard Bach said “It’s never to late for a happy childhood”). There is no blue or red pill but there are friends and family, so both of you just be kind to yourselves and trust yourselves and each other.
Doing what son#1 is doing is a great sign of maturity and wisdom, so tell the ex to take a flying ……..
JOC – I knew it was you, you sweet thing 🙂 We miss you!!! And pre-Happy Birthday for tomorrow xxx
Grandpa – thank you for always being there for me Dad, for everything you do to keep me in one piece. I am the luckiest daughter alive.
Dearest Son#1
All the very best on the first steps of your new journey.
I admire your courage and if there is anything I can do to help and support you just let me know.
To my daughter just know I am always here for you.
Wow, I have tears streaming down my face; Son#1, I am so increadibly proud of you. I speak from personal experience, this is the right decision and is going to be so totally worthit. I miss you tons! Thinking of you always! you have such a special place in my heart, not sure if i ever told you, but I lv u lots. Keep your head up high, just take it one day at a time. you can get through this.
As for you as a mom, good luck, all my thoughts and prayers and love is with you always, even though I’m not there to actively support. well done for being so brave and handeling all this so well.
I’m not sure how all this works, so just for incase you have no idea who this is (it’s the girl who used to work for u and moved to London) 🙂
Thinking of you guys.
Love always.
Me.
You have no idea how much all your wonderful comments mean to me!!
Thank you to ALL of you xx
I can’t wait for him to read everything you’ve said here, your personal messages of encouragement to him – he’s going to find real strength in all this support …
I’ll definitely keep you posted on how things are going 🙂
I’m going to speak from experience and say that the best thing that you could have done for him is to book him into such a facility.
Its going to be hard and it may take longer than you initally hope and sometimes we don’t always get the results we had desired but ultimately you come out the better for it.
You adress issues you didn’t even think you had as well as the reason for being in such a place. The hardest part is admitting there is a problem and that help is needed. But once you overcome that, and it seems he jas, then the rest is easier to deal with.
Sterkte.
Well done to you both for choosing this way forward. I speak from personal first hand experience that:
a. yes its daunting, but oh so worth it. Fight your demons boy – you’re bigger than them all, trust me.
b. no matter what, remember that you are so clearly loved by your parents and friends and family. you are never alone, and there will always be someone out there willing to listen to you.
c. try and enjoy this time, i have a feeling you are about to meet a whole new side to you that you didn’t know existed. its not necessarily a bad thing.
Good luck guys. I can’t wait to hear the outcome. We are all thinking of you 🙂
I wish you and your son all the best. It sounds like a really trying time but at least there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! Keep us posted on developments.
I’m very glad to see that he has accepted help. So many guy his age refuse any form of help, it takes a very big person to realize and accept that they need help and go for it so seriously well done to him. I’m sure he’ll come out the other side very glad that he’s done this. well done to him 🙂
To my dear friend and very special and loved Son#1 – I know you can do this together, it warms my heart to see how close both of you have become – the road has been and will be tough but i know in my heart and soul you can do it!! – you have friends and family who love you dearly and to distraction so if either of you need anything at all – you both know where to find me.
Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers, daily =)
I am very proud of you Son#1 you gorgeous boy!!!! – I hope you see this before you go =)
Love always,
Me xxx
Wow.
Wow. wow, wow.
Can i just say:
1. Kudos to Son #1 for being brave enough to face up to seeking treatment. Kudos. It took me no less than ten years to finally agree to see a therapist, never mind seek treatment. Kudos.
2. Kudos to you, mamma, for being brave enough to go through with it, deal with the opposition from his dad, and tell the world about it in such a brave way.
You, my friend, are so bloody courageous. and your sons get theirs from you.
X