Not sure what’s happening – I’m feeling very claustrophobic, like I really need emotional and physical space. Actually, I can’t remember when I last had a day all to myself with no-one else around. I really need it, time to do whatever I feel like with no interruptions or distractions, no-one watching me, talking to me or asking me questions. So this weekend I’m getting Saturday all to myself and I’m looking forward to it. I’ll have the whole day to do absolutely anything that takes my fancy.
Apart from that, I have a huge sleeping pill hangover and I’m exhausted. I’m also at loggerheads with my kids (what’s new?) – I’m sick to death of them trashing the house and everything in it and the eldest didn’t come home last night – the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. And guess what? I’m supposed to have a couple of hours to myself this evening and I’ve just found out that the ex is away (again!), so bang goes that idea (again!) Nothing I can do …. grrrrrr. Sometimes I feel like I have absolutely NO control of my life and it drives me crazy.
So I’m in a nasty blue mood today. I took myself off for an hour at lunchtime and just walked around the shops. I just needed to get away from everyone for a little bit. It hasn’t helped, I’m back here and it still sucks. Trapped.