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So I woke up at 9am with the same splitting headache I went to sleep with last night. Dammit. I opened my eyes to discover that my cats had crawled under the covers to snuggle up with me. Cute … not … their paws were full of mud and there’s at least a tone of crunchy sand in my bed. Great.

I spent half an hour trying to wake up, popped a few Panados, drank a glass of OJ, puffed my way through 2 cigarettes (please, don’t say anything … not today) and dragged myself off to the bathroom to soak in the tub for a while. Then I stared at the various piles of clothes scattered around my room (I still haven’t sorted my cupboard out since my room was renovated a few months ago), cursed the fact that I had “absolutely nothing to wear”, which is partly true because most of my stuff is either too big or too small for me right now (I’ve lost some weight recently so I don’t fit into my “fat” clothes or my “thin” clothes.) I plastered on the day’s war paint (not that foundation stuff, can’t stand it), tried to ignore the fact that another wrinkle seems to have furrowed it’s way into my face overnight, and oh my gawd! Is that a grey hair???? Look way, look away!!

And then I ate a bowl of bitchy for breakfast (no, that’s not my line, but I’m claiming it today, ok?).

The kids next door sound like they are being murdered and I’m very tempted to go over and complain. Apparently, I’m the only one in the neighbourhood who hasn’t done so yet. One of my dogs has caught the barking bug this morning and just will not shut up! I’m ready to run outside and put the hose on him. The boys are both listening to music. Loudly. My head is screaming as they each battle for earspace and the competing sounds of Muse and DJ Whoever thump through to every corner of the house. Aaargh!

It’s just as well I did the dreaded weekly grocery shop yesterday evening, because if I had to do that today in the mood that I’m in, I am sure I would be guilty of some gross trolley rage episode.

And it’s probably a good thing that my plans for the weekend got screwed up, because I really don’t think I’m fit for human consumption today. Seriously. Irritate me at your own peril.