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Where credit belongs …

“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

– Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

In my perfect world

  1. Mother Nature would not be such a bitch. I mean REALLY! Pimples and wrinkles at the same time? Come ON!
  2. My phone and doorbell would never ring. Not ever.
  3. Adjustable bras, as clever as they are, wouldn’t unhook themselves and smack me in my face. Usually at the *most* inconvenient time, of course.
  4. I’d get paid to read for a living. Yes, I AM that lazy.
  5. Forgetting a movie 5 minutes after I’d just watched it would never happen. Do you realize how tiresome this is?
  6. I’d totally rock the ā€œEau Naturalā€ look.
  7. T-shirt manufacturers would take into account that some of us ACTUALLY HAVE BOOBS!
  8. House plants would never need to be watered. Please don’t ever buy me one as a gift – it’ll just die, mmk?
  9. My son would never say: ā€œSo how did you manage to put on so much weight?ā€ Thanks boy – love you too!
  10. Muffin tops would be regarded as a Thing of Beauty. Enviable even.

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(No, those aren’t mine)