Dear cow_grrrl,

Mmk, I’ve been holding off on telling you this because I’d thought you’d come to your senses on your own. But clearly you haven’t so here goes … ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

For Pete’s sake chick, stop bloody complaining about how much weight you’ve put on in the last month and damn well DO something about it.

Do you have *any* idea how sick and tired I am of hearing you bitch and moan about how your clothes are getting too tight, how you’re feeling like a fat slob, how low you are because of that and all the rest of the crap that goes with you seeing the flab steadily increasing every day?

Enough with the whining PLEASE. I’ve HAD IT! So far and no further.

Get off your arse and start doing some exercise dammit! You KNOW you won’t be busting any fat by sitting around all day, every day. Good grief! When was the last time you actually got your heart rate up over the pace of a stoned tortoise? Huh? Exactly …

And as for all the food you’ve been stuffing down your gullet … well now. What do you expect? You can’t carry on eating like that, do bugger all exercise and expect to even MAINTAIN your weight, let alone LOSE any. If you carry on like you have been, you are going to *explode* man!

Silly wench.

Seriously, Summer *is* coming. It *will* soon be time to shed the safety of your winter woolies and bare some skin. Do you REALLY want to feel like a porker when the weather improves and you need to make the switch to your Summer wardrobe? I didn’t think so …

So then! What are you going to do about it?

For starters, you can carry on reading that book about overcoming binge eating that Sir G bought for you and I think that Monday morning would be a good time to take the appropriate action and resurrect Opertation Yellow Bikini. It will give you a couple of days to plan your training and nutrition and you can hit the ground running.

You know I’m right. Just do it.

Mmk? Mmk.