I got this from my mom – I have no idea if they’re actually “genuine”, but true or not, they still made me giggle 🙂
Council Complaints
These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:
- My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
- He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.
- It’s the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
- The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
- I want some repairs done to my cooker as it had backfired and burnt my knob off.
- And their 18 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence
- I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
- My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
- Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.
- Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
- I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
- Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
- I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
- The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
- Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
- I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
- I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6a.m. His cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
- I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
- 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
- I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
- Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
- I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still have no satisfaction.
9….classic!
Those are funny! They sound so British to me.
HELLOOO Glugster 😀
These are a hoot! “right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife” ?? Sheesh, how can people not realise what they are writing hehe
@CJC hahaha 😀
Erk … mmk … not today though hey, I’m tuned out of phones till tomorrow. BTW, best to send me an sms just before you call so I know who it is, or I won’t answer 🙂
Its the only one that i got a visual. Ouch.
Hahahaha. I like 9 and 21 the most!
And their 18 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence HAHAHHA I remember those days…
I’ll be giving you that call soon hun – brace yourself 😉
@Sir G – that’s my favourite one too!
LOL. Classic 🙂 I like the banging balls one.
@SheBee 😀 some of them are hysterical!
12, 19, 21 = me, slayed.
Yes, I get the same impression … “cooker” … “farmer across the road” …
I might be wrong but most of the above makes me think that these originate in England?