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I just got back from visiting Son#1 at the clinic and he ain’t doing well today …

He doesn’t want to be there

He feels like he’s getting nothing out of it

He says it’s a waste of time

He’s so sick of being asked: “how are you?”

He can’t connect with the Terrible Tag Team

He doesn’t want to talk

He can’t relate to the other kids in there, bar one

He feels lonely and isolated

He wants everyone to leave him alone

He just wants to leave

I told him to write this all down and raise it in the community session tomorrow, to tell the counselors that he had something to say and that everyone should just shut up until he’d finished. I told him to put all this to them, to close his eyes and talk if that would help. I told him to feel his anger and frustration and shout at them if he needed to!

I know those counselors can be damn intimidating and I personally don’t think they handle my boy in a way that encourages him to talk at all. They keep butting in and totally stopping his train of thought. I’ve seen how he clams up and becomes extremely defensive with them.

I hope he can manage to do this, to call a spade a shovel. I think it’s important for him.

Anyway, he seemed a bit brighter after we chatted about what he was going through and he’d written all his thoughts down …

Then I let him sit in my car for a while and listen to some music. He misses his music so much now that they have made a decision not to allow CD’s to be played there. Poor guy, he’s pissed off about that.

I am starting to get a bit pissed off myself. They “encourage” family to be involved – grandparents and siblings especially. His gran and his brother have both been to visit Son#1 in the clinic and today I was told they couldn’t go … wtf? No explanation, nothing. That really grates me. If you make a decision or change your mind about something then fine, but if it’s going to affect other people, at least have the damn decency to give them a reason!