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“Stucture” is the term given by the clinic to the outline of things that the kids are and aren’t allowed to do over the weekends while the counselors take a break. This applies to all the kids at the clinic, regardless of whether or not they are allowed to go home for the weekend.

They each create their weekend structure on a Friday morning and then spend time sharing it with the group and counselors, opening up their plans for discussion. They get feedback, suggestions and advice on their plans and goals for the weekend. Some things are encouraged – those that fall into the “safe zone”- and others are discouraged – those that fall into the “danger zone”.

I’m telling you all this to give you a bit of background so that when I tell you that Son#1 was discouraged from going to the GF’s matric dance tonight, you’ll kinda get why the counselors made an issue out of it. They felt that he was too vulnerable and that with all the alcohol flowing, he would be in a VERY dangerous zone. But they never told him what to do, they left the decision up to him.

He agonized over that decision. When I went to visit him last night, he was completely torn. He KNEW he shouldn’t go to the dance. He also knew that he would be leaving himself wide open to danger and he didn’t want to do that. But … he did not want to let GF down. He wanted to make sure that he did his part to make her dance special.

So this was all discussed with everyone at the clinic today (there are no secrets there) and when the X went for a meeting with them at lunchtime, a compromise was reached. The compromise was that I would fetch my boy from the clinic after the Family Support group, take him to the before party and stay with Son#1 and GF at the party until the limo arrived. Then one of the counselors would actually meet them at the dance and then take Son#1 back to the clinic afterwards!! How awesome is that?? I chatted to the guy this afternoon and told him that I thought what he was doing for my son was completely brilliant!!

That may sound VERY crap to some of you but let me tell you, Son#1 was eventually happy and relieved that someone would be there to look out for him (especially this guy, he’s not one of the Terrible Tag Team – Son#1  REALLY likes him) and she (GF) was so happy and grateful that he was allowed to go to her dance! Yes, there was that chance that he may not have been allowed to go and I think if he had fought it, they *might* have actually put their collective foot down.

And they looked just gorgeous tonight! I’m so sad I didn’t have a camera with me – my little phone cam doesn’t have a flash so I couldn’t take any pics of the two of them, looking ever-so-beautiful.

So I’ll fetch him from the clinic tomorrow morning at 11am and bring him home till 9pm. We have planned to watch movies, eat pizza and just c-h-i-l-l. Then he goes back for the night. They do not feel that he is stable or strong enough yet to sleep here at home and they want him under the nurses’ care. I have no issue with that – I think it’s best for him. He’ll be 100% safe …

On Sunday, his dad is fetching him for breakfast and then dropping him off here for the day and a couple of the kids from the clinic are coming to visit for an hour in the afternoon for guitar practice. Then I take him back at 8pm.

That means I’m here at home with both my beautiful boys during the daytime this weekend.

I’m happy 🙂