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I’ve just come back from a 3-hour session at the clinic … 2 hours of Parent Support and 1 hour with my beautiful boy. I’m so exhausted, inside and out. Completely drained.

The Parent Support Group was interesting … and very hard. Hard to share my story, hard to listen to other people share theirs. So much pain. So many broken lives. So much turmoil and distress. And yet we all look so damn “together” on the surface. Hah!

But it was interesting to learn more about the type of treatment our children are all undergoing – the direction it takes and the steps along the way.

That was the first of 6 sessions, so I’ll be back for the second one next Friday and hopefully the X will be there too so he can also find out what the process is and how we can both be the support and strength Son#1 needs (and Son#2).

After the Group, I spent nearly an hour with my boy, gave him some clean clothes, picked up his laundry and watched his eyes light up when I gave him the bag of eats and goodies =)

“Mom, there are some fucked up psychos in here! Do I REALLY need to be here?”

“Yes, my baby, you do.”

*choke back a few tears*

But he says he’s ok, that he’s even started to recognise what one of his problems is. That’s huge progress in such a short time. That’s Step One.

This weekend is going to be really difficult for him, staying in there and not being able to go anywhere. But I’ll be back to see him tomorrow and I’ll take his brother along for the visit too. He also wants a book and some change for the phone because he can start making calls from tomorrow evening.

He’s never hugged and kissed me so much before. I’ve never felt closer to him. I miss him terribly.