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Today has been pretty crap for me and to top it off, I’ve just had a nasty, surreal experience.

I linked through to something from a Twitter post and arrived at a site that looked interesting. It had a members’ area, so I went to go have a peak at who was involved in their community and there, staring me in the face was “HER” name on her very own page on the site.

I wasn’t ready for that. I’m still shaking a bit, all sorts of horrible memories have just come flooding back into my head and I’m not handling it very well.

I know I shouldn’t let it get to me – reason and logic tells me there’s no point, that it’s a fruitless waste of energy. In my head I know this. My marriage has officially been over for more than a year now and I have to move on.

I’m surprised by this speed wobble. I really thought I’d be beyond reacting in this emo way. But even just seeing her name and her bio has shaken me up badly. It’s a ghastly reminder of everything.

Thankfully there wasn’t a picture though, I may just have punched my monitor.

It’s been a long time since I cried about what happened. Perhaps this is all because I’m a bit low today anyway. I wonder if I’ll ever truly be over it? God, I hope so …