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Afternoon everyone! Hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend …

Here is part 2 of MAHARISHI PHUCKNUCKEL’S GUIDE TO ZEN: (part 1 can be found here)

Thanks to Sir G for this =)

  1. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  2. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  3. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  4. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  6. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
  7. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  8. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
  9. Change is inevitable … except from vending machines.
  10. A fool and his money are soon partying.
  11. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  12. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  13. Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
  14. I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”
  15. Seven percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.