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Well slap me silly and call me Sheila!

There was a *possible* glitch on the radar for this weekend in that Son#1 wanted to go the grade dance at his school but I thought it wasn’t a good idea. Actually, it’s just about the worst idea in the History of the Universe. It’s far too soon for him, he’s not ready for that (read: partying, alcohol, etc) yet. Plus the school had called me to express their concern about his intention after hearing about it via the grapevine.

So I emailed the X to let him know that I was going to have a chat to Son#1 and explain to him why I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to go to the dance. I wasn’t really expecting much of a response from the X (I don’t think), he usually stays out of stuff like this, especially if it’s “my” weekend … but, here’s what he replied with:

“In terms of the Dance I will support your decision, I did tell him it was not a good idea.”


I nearly choked on my left-over pizza when I read that!

Not only does he “support” me on this, but he’s already spoken to Son#1!!


Mmk, who are you and what have you done with the X!?

I hate to say this BUT

Today is probably gonna be another tough one …

This afternoon sees me going to another Family Counseling session at the clinic with Son#1 and the Terrible Tag Team. This time however, there’s a new variable in the equation … the X!

I’m trying not to stress about it but OMG, I’m nervous as all hell. It’s been years since he and I were in a therapy session together and the memories are NOT good!

Me sitting there feeling helpless as he shoots me down and tells the therapist what a cold-hearted bitch I am.

Him pretending to be into the therapy when he actually has no interest in trying to fix us anymore.

Me wondering what the hell else I can do to try and save things, bewildered at his apathy (little did I know!)

Him playing games with my mind, twisting my words, taking events out of context, making me think I am crazy …

There is still so much between us that is rotten; so much that hasn’t been resolved. I have been able to see him person, yes, but it took me 2.5 years to reach that point. Since then, we’ve never been any deeper than a casual chat.

I just don’t know how it’s going to play out today.

Oh boy …



UPDATE @ 5.10pm

I’m back … and I survived … and it really wasn’t that bad 😀

I didn’t flip out. I didn’t get all emo. I didn’t lose the plot.

I was cool, I was calm, I was controlled.

We went there to listen to our boy, to focus on him, to hear him out, to express our concerns and expectations.

And we did just that – we left our personal shit out of the situation …

It was a good session 🙂

Could be a tough arvy

Hmmm …

I’m off to the clinic later this afternoon for a “Family Therapy” session. I’m NOT looking forward to it in the least. Those counselors are n-a-s-t-y!!

Let me tell you, these guys mean *business*. There’s no screwing around with them.

I watched helplessly last week as they had Son#1 in their sights, relentlessly battering him with probing, no-kidding-around questions. It was so crap not being able to say anything, not being able to help him out at all. I felt like a naughty school girl when I uttered just one syllable and they shut me up!

Hoo boy … I’m dreading being in their “you’ve-got-no-option-but-to-give-us-the-gory-painful-details” presence.

But there is ONE good thing about this afternoon. The fact that the X can’t be there. Wouldn’t you know it – he’s “away on business!”


I think it’s good because it’ll give Son#1 and I a chance to talk more freely to these guys. The X has an inexplicable, bizarre way of twisting the views of anyone who opposes his reality into something seemingly petty and completely irrational. (It’s an evil gift, I swear!) So it’s good that he won’t be there to shoot us down for this first time.

The X not being there is not going to sit too well with Son#1 though, and I feel for the boy. He so desperately wants his dad to be available for him, both physically and emotionally. But I’m not going to cover for the X this time; I’m not going to make up some semi-truth in the hopes of protecting Son#1. The unfortunate bottom line is that his dad is NOT there for him, and that very fact is a big part of what needs to get worked on and out while he’s at the clinic.

So I kinda feel like I’m going to face a firing squad just now, but it’s gotta be done!

Feel the fear and do it anyway, hey?

Later xx