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Welcome to hell!

It’s been a really long day for me … thank goodness I managed to get a good sleep in last night – a whole 10 hours!! That’s a first for maaaany years. I must have really needed the rest to have slept for that long hey?

Anyway, I spent most of the day running around, stocking up on supplies that Son#1 requested – underwear and socks, toiletries, books and some music. I never learn though – I went to Cavendish on a rugby day!! No, no, no – don’t DO that again! It was chaotically full and a real test of my non-existent patience.

But … I survived and got back home pretty pooped, with just enough time to pack everything up that I needed to take to the clinic and chill for a few minutes before heading out again.

I took Son#2 along with me to visit his brother, and picked up my mom along the way. I’m really glad that she was with me – my boy was not good today.

“Welcome to hell!” he said, as we arrived.

He was in a black mood and a half – apart from feeling like he’s trapped in a prison, there are some issues with friends weighing on his mind and because he can’t talk to them and sort things out with them at the moment, he’s incredibly frustrated and pissed off. And I completely and totally understand where he’s coming from. As you’ve all been telling me, I told him: “hang in there, my boy …”

He seemed a bit over all over the place, mentally I mean. Distracted and disorientated, not really together at all. That was a bit disturbing for me – I’ve never actually seen him like that and I may have panicked had my mom not been there to reassure me that it was ok. (Well, not ok, but to be expected.)

He spent a bit of time with his little brother, kicking a soccer ball around, shooting some hoops, and that seemed to lighten his mood a bit and cheer him up somewhat.

It was so good to see them playing together, even for just that short time. They very seldom spend any time in each others’ company these days and my heart swelled with love for my two gorgeous children just being boys together in the yard. They are so beautiful and I am so lucky to be their mom.

[BTW, Son#2 thinks the clinic is GREAT – TV, soccer, basketball, lots of people around …! Bless him, my angel.]

Son#1 is a bit worried about his lack of exercise. He’s worried that he’s going to become unfit and struggle when he gets back to playing hockey. I can see that he has lost some weight so I told him to tuck into the all eats I’d given him and try to do some body weight training. You know – push ups, pull ups, crunches, squats – that kind of thing. I didn’t really know what else to tell him … he’s going to be in there for another 6 days before he can come home and go for a run or go to gym.

So, all in all, it’s been a tiring day that ended with a pretty tough visit – tough to see him in that state and not being able to do anything about it. I do feel a bit helpless. I suppose I am really.

I just need to trust that he’s where he needs to be and that in due course, things will improve.