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General hoo haa

I’ve had 7 hours sleep, so I’m doing a whole lot better today =) Sleeping pills and earplugs, that’s the trick! I have a teeny hangover from the tablet, but it’ll wear off soon (I hope).

Luckily, there was no power cut last night, so I didn’t miss any of LOST. Whew! And thank goodness I didn’t either – it was another mindblowingly awesome episode! Man, I love that show. It really sucks having to wait another whole 7 days to see what happens next.

I’m a bit sore from yesterday’s gym session, my butt in particular. My Personal Torturer really nailed my ass! Wait, that doesn’t sound too good. Oh well, you know what I mean …

It’s peeing down here in Cape Town today and freezing cold too. The bad news is that I have another leak in my roof. Yup, there’s no mistake, it’s definitely water dripping down onto my ceiling again. So I need to call the roof guys in pronto. Last year, I left it too long and there was so much water damage that my whole bedroom had to be gutted!

I didn’t do The Dreaded Weekly Grocery Shop yesterday, so now I’m going to have to brave the grotty weather to do something I could have done yesterday when it wasn’t raining cats and dogs. Serves me right for being The Queen of Procrastination. Seriously. I rule. When it comes to shopping or housework, I can out-delay, out-excuse and out-stall ANYONE!

Well, I’m off to wade through my Inbox – looks like I’ve won another 6 email lotteries overnight … yaaay.

Arb Quote: “The difference between erotic and kinky is that one uses a feather, the other uses the whole chicken.”

 

Gym really sucked

OMG, I nearly passed out! Jeez, it was bad!!! I felt so weak after being off for 3 weeks; it was a bit of a shocker actually. I thought I was either going to pass out and/or my head was going to explode and/or my legs were going to cave in … I stopped about 10 minsutes before the hour was up and then I could hardly walk up the stairs to the changing rooms afterwards =( Right now, my legs feel like jelly and I am so ended!! One good thing about today’s session though, I managed to do 40 push ups at least – 15 guy push up and 25 ladies push ups. Not my record, but pretty good going anyway I guess.

I also had my measurements taken – oh poohy!!  I was right, I have lost muscle. Apart from losing scale weight and another 6cm off my waist (15cm alltogether), everything else was either the same or slightly up. I suppose its not THAT bad after eating badly for a over month and not training for so long, but I’m hard on myself, so I feel bad that I’ve put on fat. So I’m up to about 21% body fat now, which is perfectly acceptable for a lady of my age and height but I want to get down to at least 18% and lose another 4-5kgs. It will probably take me the whole of winter to do that. 

Speaking of eating, the book Sir G ordered for me has finally arrived. He went to fetch it for me on Saturday. It’s called “Overcoming Binge Eating” by Dr Christopher G. Fairburn. Here is the Amazon editorial review:

“This ‘reader-friendly’ book provides a lucid and comprehensive account of the nature and treatment of binge eating by one of the world’s leading clinical researchers. Based on the most recent scientific evidence, and reflecting Fairburn’s many years of unsurpassed clinical experience, this text is unrivaled as the best source for educating both the public and patients about binge eating. But it does more than educate and enlighten.”

And this is the part I’m excited for:

“It includes a detailed self-help program for overcoming binge eating in bulimia nervosa and obesity. The state-of-the-art techniques in this program have proved effective in numerous scientific studies. The program can be used on its own or in combination with therapy.”

I’m really pleased to have it at last and I’m looking forward to starting it. I’ll try and squeeze in a few pages after work, before I settle down to some knitting, and watching my absolute FAVOURITE tv show, LOST. It’s been off the air for 3 weeks, not sure why, and replaced by that ghastly local version of “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” Thank goodness we no longer have to be subjected to that crap during prime time viewing!

Well, I need to go eat and get some work done before I have to fetch the boys from school. Later …

Weekend roundup

Friday was miserable. I mean, I was miserable – I had the crappiest day to top off a pretty bad week – probably an accumulation of not enough sleep and “that time of the month.” I was so low, felt like my world was caving in on top of me. I’m not sure why or how, but sometimes angry depression hits me so hard that I feel frantic, frustrated, and on the brink of a massive emotional explosion.

On Friday I woke up feeling like I just needed to be alone, to have some time to myself. Having the office at home is very convenient in some ways but it also means that I am constantly surrounded by people, which is so draining for me. I enjoy being social (when I have the energy) but I find it incredibly stressful to have other people here for at least 50 hours every week – there isn’t a moment’s privacy, and that’s something I desperately need. Added to that is the horrid negative energy around at the moment (so bad that it actually churns my gut!) and it’s a recipe for disaster for me, a sure fire way to screw with my head and send me spiraling down into what feels like hell. I try to reason with myself and tell myself that I couldn’t keep the business going without them here, but logic goes out the window in the midst of everything and I struggle to function, let alone think straight about anything.

Anyway, so Friday was awful – tense, confusing and tearful – and I couldn’t wait for it to be over so that I could wake up on Saturday and just get on with being me, run some errands and potter freely round the house without feeling like I was being suffocated, under surveillance or being forced to absorb some very odd vibes. And that’s exactly what I did on Saturday. Bits and pieces of domestic stuff, not very exciting, but it kept me busy for a few hours and let me cross off a few things from my mammoth, never-ending “to do” list. I also carried on playing LOST on my Xbox 360 – love that game!! I got quite far and managed to unlock some new achievements and score a whole bunch of new gamer points – I’m starting to look like a hardcore gamer haha =)

Sunday was a very lazy morning; I only got up at lunch time …. I cleaned up a bit and got stuck into the back garden. Recently, I dug the whole thing up and replanted. It’s been a while since I did anything besides just water it and get the grass cut, so I cleared out the beds, trimmed all the lawn edges and ripped out some plants that didn’t manage to survive (mostly due to the damn dogs peeing on them), and put down a sprinkling of organic snail bait. Then I cooked dinner and fired up my Xbox to finish LOST. Shit, what am I going to play now?? I’ll probably go back and redo some parts so that I can get all the achievements – it’s fairly easy to get them in this game, which is great ‘cos I’m not exactly gifted as a gamer =) I enjoying playing, but I kinda suck. I like playing Burnout (the old one, not “Paradise”) and the WSOP games – lots of fun, especially if you play with other gamers on Xbox Live.

Today I need to go and get something to kill the worms in my garden – these big fat green and pink mothers are devouring everything! And they don’t discriminate – just about every poor plant has holey evidence of midnight worm feasts!!

But first, its gym time! I haven’t been since Friday (only went twice last week which is not great) and I feel like a bit of a lazy lump. So, I’m going to tough it out for an hour and work up a good sweat.

I’m feeling much better today. I really hope I can keep myself in a relatively good frame of mind. I’m going to try hard not to let other people’s shit affect me ….