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Things are coming together

Yes, it’s taken me while for me to get back in the saddle, so to speak,
but I’m looking at my life from all angles at the moment  and I’m thoroughly enjoying
the way all the different fragments are combining in their shapes, sizes and colours and luminosity
to form something that pleases me …

Indeed, the picture is taking shape, on all fronts.
The foundation has been laid and creative limits are now a non-entity.
Family, friends, personal, domestic and work elements are coming together in ways
that I thought could never happen before.

… ideas -> thought -> action -> reality …

Not only is the future bright, but the present is also a-glow.

The composition that is my life is alive and happening … right now.
And it’s filled with the glorious fruits of my new choices and deeds.

Composition VII
Wassily Kandinsky

It’s the little things that count

I had a very touching moment with my eldest son last night. There was a rather nasty pile of dirty dishes in the sink late yesterday afternoon and I decided to climb in and get them cleaned. A little while later, my boy came to me and said: “Thank you for washing the dishes Mom.” Thud. My jaw hit the ground. Never, ever, not once in his life has he done that – expressed any kind verbal appreciation for some chore I’ve done in the house. Now this may not seem like a big deal to most people, but those of you who know us will understand that this was HUGE! It completely melted me, tears welled up in my eyes and I just tingled all over. That was a major deposit into my emotional bank account =)

Sometimes, just a few simple words or a small action can make all the difference in how we relate to people, don’t you think?

Take Sir G for instance – there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t tell me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, or how amazing I am.

And my Mom – she helps me so much every day, in so many, many ways, and she’s just told me that she’s been reading my blog and she feels proud to be my mom.

Then there’s my Dad – he regularly checks in with me to see how I’m coping, he sends me links to pages on the internet he thinks I’ll find useful in my life and he constantly reminds me that I am stronger than I think.

Each person’s small acts of giving adds up to help build trust and create a safe zone where I feel comfortable revealing more of myself to them and the relationship is in turn strengthened.

Of course, the giving and receiving should balance out over time and that’s something I’m becoming increasingly aware of. Some people in my life have made huge withdrawals and gone into the red. I find myself trusting these people less and less as they take more and more.

I know I have done the same in the past and I need to take a long hard look at where my relationships with important people in my life stand and see where simple, sincere acts of kindness and showing of appreciation on my part can make their lives better and strengthen our bond. There are some loved ones who stick by me through very dark times, times when I know I dish out some awful stuff. Yet they never judge me, criticize me or blame me. They have always and continue to show me love and support. I think I have a lot of catching up to do …

Weekend plans

Gosh, it’s Friday already! Man, this week has just zoomed past so quickly and I am still waaay behind on work – got 2 more biggish things to do before Monday and then I think I will have finally caught up. So yes, gonna have to unfortunately put in a few hours over the weekend.

I’ll also have to do the usual weekend clean up and go shopping for some food. I absolutely HATE shopping and I DETEST cleaning, so this is something I dread about weekends. Sometimes I think my life is just one long endless list of chores … I am no domestic goddess, that’s for sure.

Other than that, there’s a gathering at a friend’s house tomorrow night. Well, not my friends but Sir G’s friends. I have met them once or twice, so it won’t be THAT awkward, but I don’t think it’s going to be much fun compared to what it was SUPPOSED to be. Originally, it was going to be a whacky Pimps and Hoes thing, but with a twist: the guys had to dress up as the hoes!! What a riot! Would have been crazy fun =) But now, sadly, it has deteriorated into a Potjie. How the hell did that happen? From a wild, fun party to a pot of stew!! Urgh, so not in the mood for it …. And to make things even worse, we have to PAY for this sad, unappetizing little affair too. BWAHAHA! Creating good potjiekos is a real art and I haven’t come across many good “pot food” chefs before. Oh well …. Think I’ll just avoid the food and eat before we brave the long, cold drive out to their place (and take a whole bunch of liquor!)

Sunday is Mother’s Day – no idea what’s happening. The kids are with their dad this weekend which is a welcome break for me, it’s been weeks since I had the house to myself, but I guess I’ll miss them on Sunday ….