Oh lawd …
It’s amazing how quickly things can change.
Just 30 short minutes ago I felt like Superwoman – ready to take over the world!
Then I get a phone call from Son#1 to confirm the time of today’s Family Session. Mmk.
He ends the call with: “Ja, all guns blazing today I guess.”
Shit.
So how do I feel right now? Like I want to be sick.
Superwoman has gone awol …
Hmmm …
I’m off to the clinic later this afternoon for a “Family Therapy” session. I’m NOT looking forward to it in the least. Those counselors are n-a-s-t-y!!
Let me tell you, these guys mean *business*. There’s no screwing around with them.
I watched helplessly last week as they had Son#1 in their sights, relentlessly battering him with probing, no-kidding-around questions. It was so crap not being able to say anything, not being able to help him out at all. I felt like a naughty school girl when I uttered just one syllable and they shut me up!
Hoo boy … I’m dreading being in their “you’ve-got-no-option-but-to-give-us-the-gory-painful-details” presence.
But there is ONE good thing about this afternoon. The fact that the X can’t be there. Wouldn’t you know it – he’s “away on business!”
Hrmph.
I think it’s good because it’ll give Son#1 and I a chance to talk more freely to these guys. The X has an inexplicable, bizarre way of twisting the views of anyone who opposes his reality into something seemingly petty and completely irrational. (It’s an evil gift, I swear!) So it’s good that he won’t be there to shoot us down for this first time.
The X not being there is not going to sit too well with Son#1 though, and I feel for the boy. He so desperately wants his dad to be available for him, both physically and emotionally. But I’m not going to cover for the X this time; I’m not going to make up some semi-truth in the hopes of protecting Son#1. The unfortunate bottom line is that his dad is NOT there for him, and that very fact is a big part of what needs to get worked on and out while he’s at the clinic.
So I kinda feel like I’m going to face a firing squad just now, but it’s gotta be done!
Feel the fear and do it anyway, hey?
Later xx