Aliens abducted my children
CAPE TOWN – SOUTH AFRICA. A 37 year old mother of two teenage boys is convinced that her children have recently been abducted by aliens and are now part of some bizarre extra-terrestrial experiment to alter their normally uncooperative, disorganized and lazy behaviour.
This astonishing story began unfolding earlier in the week when the mother, who prefers to remain anonymous for fear of jeopardising the new domestic harmony, became suspicious after her eldest son, aged 17, decided to draw up a list of things he needed to do for school, for himself and around the house and placed it on the fridge for all to see. The lengthy task list included items such as “clean my room” and “study for exams”. Much to her amazement, her son has now completed some of these items and crossed them off the list.
Further proof of this teenager’s new and abnormal behavior, confirming her suspicions of an alien abduction, is the fact that he uncharacteristically thanked his mother for washing the dishes two days ago and that has actually managed to get out bed in the mornings without a fight for the last 3 days!
The younger son, aged 14, is displaying the same peculiar change in conduct. Last night, he apparently cooked dinner for the family and then proceeded to wash all the dirty dishes and clean the kitchen! He has also become more interested in his school work in the last few days and has spent most afternoons this week working on a science model that only needs to be completed in 10 days.
When asked for more details of the extra-terrestrial experiment, the somewhat dazed, yet not entirely unhappy mother stated that the aliens have apparently removed the large chip from her eldest son’s shoulder and inserted a microchip into his brain, designed to stimulate his I’mgonnatrybemoreorganisedandhelpfullus gland. She said the younger child has apparently been disconnected from the world of online video clips via something called a “YouTube” and now seems to be plugged into homework and various domestic chores instead.
This mother is aware that the startling results of the behaviour modification trial are not likely to have a permanent impact on her children, but she does hope that the effects last for another few weeks, at least until the mid-year school examinations are over.