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One day at a time

It’s been a traumatic 24 hours in the life of yours truly but I’m relieved to say that it *looks* like everything is going to be ok. Unfortunately, I cannot go into any detail, but I can tell you that things have calmed down, I’m dealing with it all pro-actively, to the best of my ability and the situation does appear to be under control now.

Thank you to my friends and family and EVERYONE who has been so amazingly supportive today. I never expected such an outpouring of warmth and sympathy (and delightful promises of pina coladas!), especially from people online, most of whom I have never even met. Its been phenomenal. Each and every one of your hugs, phone calls, messages, comments and tweets has helped to hold me up today. It means the world to me and I am so grateful to be the recipient of such overwhelming support and friendship.

Things are by no means over. It’s going to be a long and difficult path back to peace, but I am confident that my beloved boy will get there. We are going to take it one day at a time, be kind to ourselves and allow for a few inevitable stumbles along the way. In the end, its progress that matters, not perfection and I just want to see him get through this cloud of darkness, step towards the light and move forward in his precious life.

Onwards and upwards, my friends xxx

Shit is happening

Personal shit.

I can’t really talk about any details but Son#1 is going through an incredibly rough time right now.

My beautiful boy is as low as can be.

Baby, if you ever find this and read it, just know that I love you more than my own life. I will do whatever it takes to help you and get you through this … Mom xxx

If you pray, please pray.

If you don’t, please just think of us and send the strongest positive energy you can muster.

Later …

Speed wobble

Today has been pretty crap for me and to top it off, I’ve just had a nasty, surreal experience.

I linked through to something from a Twitter post and arrived at a site that looked interesting. It had a members’ area, so I went to go have a peak at who was involved in their community and there, staring me in the face was “HER” name on her very own page on the site.

I wasn’t ready for that. I’m still shaking a bit, all sorts of horrible memories have just come flooding back into my head and I’m not handling it very well.

I know I shouldn’t let it get to me – reason and logic tells me there’s no point, that it’s a fruitless waste of energy. In my head I know this. My marriage has officially been over for more than a year now and I have to move on.

I’m surprised by this speed wobble. I really thought I’d be beyond reacting in this emo way. But even just seeing her name and her bio has shaken me up badly. It’s a ghastly reminder of everything.

Thankfully there wasn’t a picture though, I may just have punched my monitor.

It’s been a long time since I cried about what happened. Perhaps this is all because I’m a bit low today anyway. I wonder if I’ll ever truly be over it? God, I hope so …