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The hippie hippie shake

Hmmm … today I am wearing what can only be described as a big, black TENT!

I got this dress many, many years ago, back in my “fat days” and now I’ve had to haul it out my cupboard again *sob*. At least it covers me up though, which is just what I need after the bad news I received from the scale at gym yesterday *wail*. Hrmpf!

Yessiree, it’s even WORSE that I thought. Feck, I’m actually distraught … I thought I may have lost a few grams since I started gym again, but noooooo! Yours truly has put on even MORE weight! WTF?

So it’s official. I now have 10kgs to lose. Crap, that’s going to be hard work, but I’m not one to run from a challenge so I’m now going ALL IN to win this battle.

I’ll be training 5 days a week from tomorrow, giving myself Sundays off to rest. I’m currently going 3 times a week, but I need to do more cardio – at least 30 minutes on the treadmill and/or the bike on the extra days.

Urgh … I hate cardio.

I’m also so going to kill this binge eating nonsense!

Between my PA and my PT and me, we’re putting together a nutrition strategy and sticking to it like a fly on shit. I’m allowing myself to be a right spoiled brat hehe … PT draws up plan, PA executes plan, I just eat waha! I likey likey 😀

Take THAT Cookie Monster *shows the finger*.

I’m eating 5 x per day now, just enough to fuel my body, keep my blood sugar stable and my metabolism ticking over nicely. No more, no less. The evenings are going to be damn difficult though!!!

So there! Enough bitching about it. (I’m sure by now you’re tired of me droning on about this hey?)

Time for action!!

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QUICK UPDATE @ 8pm

I have eaten almost PERFECTLY today … WOOHOO!!!

Breakfast: Protein drink

Morning snack: small apple and some grapes

Lunch: smoked chicken salad (minimal french dressing)

Afternoon snack: low GI bread, low fat ham, cucumber, reduced fat hummus

Dinner: grilled fish, carrots and peas (seasoned with fresh lemon juice)

NOW, I just need to hold out for a couple of hours till I crash and then I’m a WINNER 😀

CAN SHE DO IT??!!!

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‘NOTHER UPDATE 16 JAN @ 10.50am

I did well people!! Just a handful of grapes at about 9.30pm

*pats self on the back*

Feeling a bit pissy today

But its got squat to do with anyone else. Promise.

Meh.

You know, I honestly think that in *my* case, PMS stands for POST Menstrual Syndrome! For goodness’ sake, what’s with all the grouchiness AFTER the Great Flood?

I think my body’s a bit wonky with all this hormone crap and I wouldn’t be surprised if I discovered that I somehow got a double dose in the womb … like I ran around to join the back of the queue again after I got my rations. Idiot.

And, even more freaking idiotic – I COMPLETELY undid all my hard work at gym yesterday by eating ice cream 🙁 No, not just one, and no, not even two. Hells, not even three. Nope, I had to go and devour FOUR of the farking things. I hate my relationship with food, it totally sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah … newsflash for those of you who don’t know yet: I am a binge eater. I have a problem with food. It’s a nasteh problem that found its awful way into my life a couple of years ago. (It’s all emotional, related to swallowing crap feelings and sabotaging myself … stuff that I still need to deal with.) So I’m feeling even more horrid about myself right now. Hrmph!

Anyhoo … ONE good thing about today … my cleaning lady is back.

HALLE-bloody-LOO-yah!!

I can finally stop stressing about trying to be Superwoman (while failing miserably at it) and reclaim my title as Domestic Un-Goddess. Aaaah … much better!

Laterz people xxx

PS Is it just me or are there more damn flies around than normal?

So far and no further

Dear cow_grrrl,

Mmk, I’ve been holding off on telling you this because I’d thought you’d come to your senses on your own. But clearly you haven’t so here goes … ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

For Pete’s sake chick, stop bloody complaining about how much weight you’ve put on in the last month and damn well DO something about it.

Do you have *any* idea how sick and tired I am of hearing you bitch and moan about how your clothes are getting too tight, how you’re feeling like a fat slob, how low you are because of that and all the rest of the crap that goes with you seeing the flab steadily increasing every day?

Enough with the whining PLEASE. I’ve HAD IT! So far and no further.

Get off your arse and start doing some exercise dammit! You KNOW you won’t be busting any fat by sitting around all day, every day. Good grief! When was the last time you actually got your heart rate up over the pace of a stoned tortoise? Huh? Exactly …

And as for all the food you’ve been stuffing down your gullet … well now. What do you expect? You can’t carry on eating like that, do bugger all exercise and expect to even MAINTAIN your weight, let alone LOSE any. If you carry on like you have been, you are going to *explode* man!

Silly wench.

Seriously, Summer *is* coming. It *will* soon be time to shed the safety of your winter woolies and bare some skin. Do you REALLY want to feel like a porker when the weather improves and you need to make the switch to your Summer wardrobe? I didn’t think so …

So then! What are you going to do about it?

For starters, you can carry on reading that book about overcoming binge eating that Sir G bought for you and I think that Monday morning would be a good time to take the appropriate action and resurrect Opertation Yellow Bikini. It will give you a couple of days to plan your training and nutrition and you can hit the ground running.

You know I’m right. Just do it.

Mmk? Mmk.

The Cookie Monster must DIE

Yes – that revolting scumbag who manipulates my mind every evening must DIE DIE DIE!

He spins dreadful stories in my head telling me that I’m lonely, bored, uninteresting and unlovable and the only thing worth doing at all is stuffing my face every night.

PUHLEAZE!

The Monster has been so convincing of late that I’ve managed to pile on 3 kgs in the last 3 weeks. That’s hideous … So much for Operation Yellow Bikini hey? Jeez, how kuk do I feel right now!

So, how do I kill the evil bugger and how do I find the mojo I need to combat his trickery?

Blegh.

I guess step one should be for me to get back into that book Sir G bought for me – “How to Overcome Binge Eating”. And I need to do it soon because this is getting waaaay out of control. It’s a vicious lose-lose cycle too, *obviously*.

The more I eat, the worse I feel, the more I eat, the worse I feel …

He seriously needs to FOAD!

Overcoming Binge Eating – Chapter 4

In this chapter of the book Dr Christopher G. Fairburn deals with the psychological and social problems associate with binge eating.

Again, just for the record, I am neither bulimic nor anorexic but as I read this chapter, I found that could relate to issues like the diet-binge cycle, the effects of this cycle (and being highly concerned about my appearance) on my moods and relationships, plus the character traits common among those with binge eating problems.

Binge eating may be an isolated behaviour, but in most cases it is associated with other problems – some may a consequence of binge eating, others may promote the binge eating and some may result AND encourage binge eating which causes a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. An example of this kind of behaviour is dieting (most people who binge also diet) as it neither be classified as either a cause or effect of binge eating.

Dieting often precedes binge eating, but it also a response to binge eating. It is most obvious in bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa, where the dieting is generally extreme to the point of fasting. In binge eating disorder, dieting tends to be less extreme and intermittent, not continuous, and these people alternate between phases of successful dieting and periods of overeating which may continue for years if left untreated. (Because dieting is one of the main factors that contribute to bingeing, treatment is geared at reducing the tendency to diet.)

Dr Fairburn goes on to tell us that there are 3 types of dieting: avoiding eating (fasting between binges), restricting the overall amount eaten (calorie restriction) and avoiding certain types of food (those perceived as “forbidden” or “bad”). There is also mention of dieting in other guises, practiced by those who influence their weight or shape by changing their eating habits and justifying it by attributing it to things like food allergies or being vegetarian. What he says is that if you practice any form of dietary restriction to influence your weight or shape, you are “dieting”.

When strict dieting is practiced, failure is inevitable and this may be extremely demoralizing which in turn leads to binge eating. This vicious cycle operates among those who adopt strict dietary rules, not all those who binge.

Measures for controlling shape or weight are covered next – self induced vomiting, laxative and diuretic misuse and over-exercising.

It was interesting to read that most people are ignorant of the fact that self induced vomiting only purges a maximum of 50% of the calories consumed in a binge. Even the use of “markers” (such eating tomatoes at the start of a binge to ensure that all food has been purged when they reappear) is entirely inaccurate as food in the stomach gets churned around and it’s never a case of “first in, last out”.

Other misconceptions revolve around the use of laxatives and diuretics (water pills) – neither of these eliminate any excess calories, but they do make people feel “cleaner” and less bloated, so that’s probably the main reason for people using them.

Over-exercising is common among those with binge eating problems, particularly bulimics and anorexics. They feel compelled and driven to exercise to the point where don’t eat anything until they feel they have burned up enough calories to justify the intake of food.

All these measures may encourage further binge eating and perpetuate the cycle.

Most people who binge are highly concerned about their appearance and weight. Many tie their self esteem into their appearance and are terrified of weight gain. Some may weigh themselves up to 15-20 times per day and measure themselves continuously. Shame over how they look can interfere with their day-to-day life and many may withdraw from society and isolate themselves. This obviously has many detrimental effects on their mental health (depression is common), moods and their relationships. These people may become completely preoccupied with food, extremely anxious and unable to focus on anything else which can lead to them finding it difficult perform everyday activities such as reading, conversing or even watching tv. Some binge eaters, although overweight, are still very concerned about their appearance and may develop feelings of disgust and self loathing. Some refuse to look at their bodies or allow anyone else to see them. Binge eating problems can affect every aspect of life.

There are certain character traits that are common among those with binge eating problems: low self-esteem, perfectionism, all-or-nothing thinking and impulsivity.

Chapter 5 will cover the physical problems associated with binge eating.

Information about previous chapters can be found here:

  1. What is a Binge?
  2. Binge Eating, Eating Disorders and Obesity
  3. Who Binges?