The clinic is history!

OMG, I am so totally shocked at their childish attitude and the games they keep playing. Friday was the last freakin straw!

I get a phone call from Son#1 in the morning. “I’ve been kicked out again” he says.

THUD <—– That’s the sound of my jaw hitting the ground.

“Oh gawd. What now?”

“I dunno” says he, “just please come and fetch me.”

So I grab my mom and off I dash (thanks to Miss Boats for the lift ‘cos my car was in for a service) and when I get there, he’s sitting outside by himself with his bag.

“So, who can I talk to?” I ask.

“No-one, they’re all in ‘session’.”

bull … SHIT!!

I march into to the reception area and stare at the chick there with all the sweetie-you’d-better-give-me-some attention-before-I-start-throwing-my-toys determination I could summon. Must have worked too because she ended her phone call rather promptly and called some or other “supervisor” that I’ve never met.

Anyway, I’m sitting there, listening to this woman’s RIDICULOUS CRAPNESS about how they wouldn’t read his contract because they didn’t think he was being sincere enough, and now he was not behaving the way they wanted him too (er, yeah, I think I’d also be a bit miffed if you totally dismissed my contract and acted like you didn’t give a shit.)

Then she says: “Yes, and anyway, today is his last day so he has to leave.”

HUH????

Well, thanks for telling me!! First I’ve heard of it. I mean, I’ve only just paid over another R15k to cover further treatment, hey?

And then she comes up with the peach …

“He’s too angry. He can’t be here unless he changes his attitude.”

EXCUSE ME???? WTF?

I told (no … REMINDED) her that he is an ANGRY boy!!! He’s in the clinic because he is carrying years and years of anger and doesn’t know what the hell to do about it. “Your job was to help him!! And now you kick him out for that?”

I seriously lost it.

“THAT’S INSANE” said I just before I got up, grabbed Son#1 and my mom and walked out.

What an absolute croc of the most disgusting SHIT ever!

They can take their clinic and shove it. He’s never going back there. Not over my dead body.

Tomorrow morning I am taking him to see the psychiatrist who referred us to the clinic to explain the whole story and see what he now suggests. I’ve also organized more meds for Son#1 because the bloody clinic wouldn’t give him his to take home BAH!!  I am making sure he still goes to NA meetings (just dropped him off at one now) and then we’ll see what comes of the new treatment options I am now exploring.

So, that was my Friday morning …

Things got a whole lot better on Friday evening and the rest of the weekend rocked – more about that later

I know I *shouldn’t* feel like this, but I honestly don’t know what the point of me being in another “Family Session” is … not after what happened yesterday.

I feel like telling them to call me when they’re actually ready to hear me. Do my feelings and experiences really count for nothing? If they can’t see that everything I’ve been going through is not impacting on my children, then they have missed the boat and as far as I’m concerned, there’s a big fat hole in their theories.

Even *I* know that my issues have had a negative effect, for god’s sake!

One of those issues?

NOT HAVING A VOICE!!!

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo? Can you hear me?

Or do I just have to sit there with a mouthful of angry teeth again, because you won’t let me be honest?

Why the hell is everyone pussyfooting around here? I’m so mad that the dance of deceit is being played out right before my very eyes and ONCE AGAIN I have been rendered powerless to do anything about it.

Fuck.

This is how I have been feeling for years people!!! YEARS!!!

I open my mouth, I get shot down.

Unheard. Invalidated. Dismissed. Judged. Mocked. Condemned.

And you wonder why I don’t talk, you tell me I should “open my bloody mouth”.

Why?

You have been awarded my “Cow Patty of the Month” award!

Way to go Leith Roofing!!!

Not.

Jeesh … I have now actually lost count of the number of times I have called your company, only to be told each time: “What is your name and number, someone will get back to you.”

It’s been w-e-e-k-s since I first started calling you and I am STILL waiting for that call!!

I KNOW you are busy. I understand that it’s the middle of winter in Cape Town and that you must be flooded with work, but I am NOT asking you to come out right now and fix my leaking roof. Hells, I am not even griping about the fact that you haven’t come out to give me a quote yet. I just bloody want you to return my calls!!!

Is that REALLY too much to ask?

No, seriously. If you are too busy and you DON’T want my business again (yes, we’ve been through this before you know!), just TELL me. I’m not going be all offended – I just want to BLOODY KNOW!! What happened to simple courtesy?

Instead of getting your receptionist to flipping LIE to me all the time, why don’t you just have her tell me: “Sorry, no-can-do!” Huh?? Then at least I know not to waste my time trying to follow up with you and I can move on …

Why am I following up with you? Because you’ve helped me out before and I would have liked to give you my business again. Silly me, there I was thinking that we had some kind of “relationship” going. Hrmph.

Oh, and BTW, hearing her say “hmmmm, let me just check back in the ‘Book’ is pretty damn scary. Do you know what century we’re in? A ‘Book’?? For heaven’s sake! Get yourself a decent CRM system if you’re so damn busy.

And to the lady I’ve just spoken to on the phone: Honey, Sweetie-pie, I don’t care if you ARE just the book-keeper filling in for the regular chick. Hoo-bloody-rah for you! What do you want, a Noddy Badge? You could be the Tea Lady or Oprah Winfrey for all I care right now. Stop making excuses for yourself or trying to explain your inadequacy to me. As far as I am concerned, YOU are the frontline representative for the company at the time of my call and you need to hear me out and deal with the situation effectively. You have a VERY unhappy (almost) customer on your hands and I DO NOT want to be fobbed off with another “someone will get back to you!”

Honestly, I know I’m impatient, but hells … what do I actually have to do to get these guys to just return my call(s)?

I went through the same leaking roof problem last winter and I eventually had to replace the bloody ceilings because the water damage was so bad. I do NOT feel like going down THAT road again.

So, that’s it. I’ve given them ample opportunity. Some companies don’t deserve to be in business, and they certainly don’t deserve my money. Time to move on …

If you are looking for a reliable, customer-friendly company to come and repair your roof in Cape Town, DO NOT call on Leith Roofing, because apparently, they don’t give a shit.

BAH!

*fires up iTunes to look for some angry music and flips open the Yellow Pages*

AAAARRRGH!!

Mmk, that feels *slighty* better …

Jeesh, what MORE is gonna go wrong today?!

As per usual, I have a STINKING headache, and it’s getting worse by the minute so I am nowhere NEAR to being cheerful today.

My interwebs were completely fuxored! We’ve been offline since last night. I don’t know what happened – I tried switching ADSL accounts, I tried unplugging and replugging everything in, I rebooted, I checked all the network points, I tested the phone line, I did absolutely everything I could think of and no bloody luck! Grrrrr

So, after spending ages trying to get hold of our tech dude, we eventually managed to get hold of him after 9am. He said he was “on his way”. He only arrived 3 hours later.

Anyway, he’s found the problem and fixed it so at least it’s all working now – apparently some tables got scrambled so he’s reset the router and upgraded the firmware. But an entire morning has been lost and that’s a LOT of time added up between 5 people. My poor Inbox now looks like a whore’s handbag …

Then there’s the whole frigging gate story! It’s STILL giving me shit. Note: do not be fooled – mothballs do NOTHING to keep geckos away. Not only have 9 more managed to fry themselves, but they’ve now fried the bloody motor too.

And it turns out I ALSO need an entire new video intercom system. PLUS all the remotes we have are “illegal” and need to be replaced. Hrmph.

Another few thousand ronds to shell out …

I’m so not looking forward to this afternoon either – I am going to the Parent Support Group at the clinic and I really don’t feel like it. I am only going because I know that I have to, for Son#1′s sake. 2 Hours is helluva long time to be there and I hate “groups” – the whole “sharing is caring” idea does not sit well with me. But don’t worry … I AM going.

After the Group I get to visit Son#1, so that’s at least something I can look forward to today. I’m going to take him some more clothes and some eats and stay for about an hour. Before then though, I need to activate Mom’s Taxi Service for Son#2 and stop at the shop to buy the goodies I want to take to Son#1.

So that means I’m basically out from 1.30-6pm today, on top of losing the entire morning!

WAH!

This week has been challenging, to say the least.

Now where did I put my Chill Pills?

I *am* going to run over a car guard.

Dude,

Thanks EVER so much for guarding my car while I dash into the shop. Really, I appreciate it.

Here’s your ronds.

NOW BUGGER OFF!!

If you insist on standing behind me while I’m reversing out of my parking bay, forcing me to go at snail’s pace, I’m just gonna HAVE to put foot and take you out!

Honestly. I can drive you know … *sigh* [note]

So, please, please, pleeeeease just let me get in my car and get the hell out of there WITHOUT you standing in my way, controlling my pace and attempting to direct me out of the bay.

Thanks, but NO thanks.

Seriously. You’ve done your bit as a CAR GUARD, I’ve reciprocated, now leave me alone!!

Grrrrrrr

[note] Erm, I just don’t reverse parallel park *sheepish grin*

I’m going to have a little vent here. You can indulge me or you can move on. It’s cool; I won’t be offended if I see you’ve clicked away after only a few seconds.

<vent>

Physically, I am shattered today. I had a really bad night’s sleep and I’m totally exhausted. I also woke up with a splitting headache (what’s new) and I’m freezing cold. So I’m sitting here feeling very sorry for myself – miserable, tired, frozen and sore =(

I really need a holiday. Any kind of break will do, I just feel like I need some R&R.

Other than that, I’m so bloody bored and completely frustrated! Being short staffed is the pits. I am still looking for new staff and having no luck. The ad on Bizcommunity has run it’s course and we got nix out of it. My inbox is normally flooded with CV’s – where the hell is everyone?

I desperately want to move on to new projects – ideas that have been bubbling under for a while that I want to bring to the front burner and start developing. But I’m stuck DAMMIT! I’m doing donkey work on websites because I don’t have enough people. It totally sucks and I feel like I’m wasting my talent.

Jeesh, 10 years ago I was doing much more exciting work. Hells, even before I got into the web I was having a ball running a design studio and lecturing at a college after that. Then I discovered the internet and found my passion. I designed and developed a very large corporate intranet, I managed some big international sites and I created front ends for some high profile online medical and banking systems. Then I setup my own business and had tons of fun developing my own projects.

After that, well … shit happened.

And now I’m bloody stuck and I don’t want to be. I’m not doing anything new; I’m not learning anything new. I feel like my creativity is being stifled and as much I as want to start doing sexy work again, I can’t! I’m turning away a ridiculous amount of work every week.

Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY grateful to be able to work and make a living. But this business is my only source of income and if I can’t move it forward, it’s not going to last for very much longer. And then I’ll be screwed.

I’m also not getting any younger you know – I want to use my brain before all the relevant synapses go on a permanent strike. Shit, the last time I did any serious development, PHP was just a puppy! And I haven’t touched Flash for ages.

And then there’s the fact that I want a personal life too. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much and I want to have a life outside of these four walls that I stare at all day, every day. But being drained of energy and robbed of time because I’m forced to put in long, tedious hours doing repetitive crap work is ensuring that that doesn’t happen either.

I need more staff!!!

I’ve even contemplated selling the business and retiring so that I can get out of this horrible rut and buy myself the time to do what I love. I could do that. I may have to if things don’t change soon.

Sucks to be me right now.

</vent>

Ok, that’s it. I’m done. Vent over. If you’re still here, thanks for listening.