I’m simply posting this so I have a record of it. Yours truly has such a shocking memory, my blog helps me keep track of stuffs

Yip – 20fourLabs.com, a start-up research and development division within 24.com,  approached me last week and asked me to contribute to their blog by writing about entrepreneurship and building a great team.

And my first post has just gone live … Advice for budding entrepreneurs.

Here’s some inside info: if I’m quiet for a long time, you KNOW something’s wrong.

At first, that was because I was in a my-life-is-so-excrutiatingly-dull-there’s-nothing-worthwhile-to-write-about phase. And I’m not exaggerating. My day-to-day existence suddenly appeared to be SO stale and monotonous that I couldn’t even bring myself to write about it. It seemed utterly pointless. There was just NOTHING going on and yes, I was in a total rut. Again. Hey, it happens you know? Well, to me at least. Meh.

So then, last week events took a drastic about turn. For the worse. And in the last week, I’ve been so wrapped up in the new drama happening, and trying to keep my head above water, that I simply haven’t had the energy to write anything. It’s been a heartbreaking and tearful few days, a massive test of my resolve.

So my life has gone from one extreme to the other in a very short space of time!

The Drama?

Well, it’s Son#1 related. And it’s ugly. It’s resulted in him moving out of home. But that’s not where it’s going to end. There’s going to be a LOT more crap to deal with before this show plays out … I may write more about this, to vent. Or not. Although I have plenty to say on the matter, I’m a little hesitant to share my feelings because any posts about the issue could very well add fuel to the fire at this stage. And SHIT, that sucks.

I feel a bit censored and I’m really not sure how to best deal with it. You know Son#1 reads my blog (so does the X btw), and he seriously takes me to task if I write stuff he doesn’t like. That shouldn’t bother me. Or should it? This is my outlet, but it’s public … I don’t to hurt anyone but at the same time I don’t want to feel like my freedom has been curtailed in any way, especially since him laying into me (about more than just this blog) is partly to blame for the current drama.

What are your thoughts on this?

Me

I never created you for anything in particular – you were born … justB[coz].

But I can’t tell you how much you’ve added to my existence over the last 12 months … without you, I don’t think my life would be anything close to as good as it is right now.

Thank you for giving me a voice.

Thank you for allowing me to vomit out my innards.

Thank you for listening, without judgment or interruption.

Thank you for putting up with my rants and my silliness.

Thank you for the laughs, and the tears.

Thank you for leading amazing people my way.

Thank you for letting me re-connect with the world, online and offline.

Thank you for changing my life.

11 March 2008:

Why? … justB[coz]

OK, so I’ve decided to take the blog-plunge! Not really sure how it’ll go, but I thought it’d be cool to have my own spot to write about and publish what’s happening in my head, around me, to me, because of me (you get the picture, right?).

I make no promises here – I’m not particularly funny, insightful or witty. I don’t have any interesting hobbies or amazing skills. I don’t travel at all and I definitely don’t know any celebrities. In fact, my life is super b-o-r-i-n-g! So … don’t hold your breath … really, you have been warned

Headspace will probably just be used to record mundane day-to-day happenings, keep track of some events, upload and share some photos, allow me to vent a bit, and generally just provide me with some much needed keyboard therapy.

Who knows? We’ll see where it goes …

Being the self-absorbed Aries that I am, I was curious about this “blog personality analyzer” I’d heard about on Twitter, so I indulged myself and headed over to Typealyzer to find out what type of blogger I am.

Here are the results:

The analysis indicates that the author of http://www.justbcoz.co.za/headspace is of the type:

ESFP – The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don’t like to plan ahead – they are always at risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

Analysis

This show what parts of the brain that were dominant during writing.

Hmmm … no surprises there, I guess. Heh.

More about Typealyzer (from their About page):

How can a computer know who I am?
It doesn´t. But with a good amount of text it can make a pretty good guess. In addition, we all have different roles in different situations. By studying how people write, we can get an glimpse of what is on the mind of the person and what is characteristic of the person – or, as in the case of a blog – what is typical of the role/persona used when writing that blog. A person can have several blogs – and often have different roles for the various blogs – perhaps as a way to live out more sides of themselves.

What does a text say about the writer?
A lot more than most people might think. But it does NOT tell you who you are! However, the words and expressions we use, especially when we write for our own pleasure, tell about if we are more inclined to logical reasoning, personal values, fantasies or the reality for instance.

Wowness!

For so long, while I was drowning in self-pity over the awful events that had taken place in my life, I completely lost interest in just about every aspect of my life, including work.

Actually, for a while there, I COULDN’T work – my mind was elsewhere, dwelling on hurts and frustrations. But I knew I couldn’t do that forever without risking the one thing that allowed me to survive financially – my business. So I had to make a determined effort to start working again.

Hells, it was a real struggle for me to get out of bed each morning and find the energy to work a full day. Even when I managed, I wasn’t focused. I was on autopilot, just plodding along, following the path of least resistance because I simply didn’t have the mental or emotional or physical strength to explore new avenues or attempt to tackle some of the ideas I had previously cooked up to grow my company by creating new revenue streams.

Well, guess what?

That is changing. Rapidly!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you’ll know that I’ve talked a lot about the need for me to move forward, not only in work, but also in my personal life. But that I’ve really struggled to do this, especially on the work front. Despite my best intentions, I was still feeling stuck due to lack of time and staff and as a result, my ideas and motivation never seemed to evolve into anything concrete. So I felt like I wasn’t really getting anywhere … I had all these plans to start new things, explore new technologies, offer new services and build some sexy stuff, but they just never got off the ground. Man, it was frustrating!

Until now

As you know, I’ve recently started hiring more staff and investing in growing my team, both in numbers and skill. This was a big step for me – I had been understaffed for a long time and finding the right people to fit into our rather “homely” environment has never been an easy task and it was one that I delayed because I really didn’t feel up to the time and effort that it takes. Now that I have finally started doing this and hired some brilliant new talent, things are REALLY happening

I am so damn amped for work again, I feel like I did 5 years ago!!! Do you have any idea of how awesome that is? I now wake up every morning, rearing to go – I can’t WAIT to dive into my day and work. It’s actually FUN again! Wow.

To FINALLY have the resources I need to help the business back onto it’s feet to take on the kind of work I’ve been wanting to do for ages, and to start on the projects that have been on the back burner for years now is just the most brilliant thing imaginable!!

I feel like SUCH a load has been taken off me … that heavy burden of inactive staleness has now been replaced with the energizing freedom of new activity. Fantastic

And it’s spilling over into other areas of my life too!

I mean seriously, I NEVER thought *I’d* be the one to organize any social events. Good grief!! And jetting off to Durban to hook up with and stay with people I’ve never met, justBcoz? WTF?

Hahahaha!!!

So today is Friday … it’s the day I normally look back on the week and think: “Shit. I got nowhere again. My life is ridiculously dull. My business is still stuck in the Stone Age. I’m bloody miserable about it all. I feel like a failure.”

Not today.

Today I look back on the last week and think: “WOOHOO!!!! Chickadoodle, you’re doing it! You’re on the right track, you’re surrounded by awesome people (good move grrrl!), you’re moving forward in both in your business and in your personal life. At last!”

And I just HAVE to add here that a very large part of my new zest for life in general can be attributed to YOU. I’m not kidding. Interacting with you here, and on Twitter, Skype and Facebook, has had the most incredibly positive effect on me … I’m not going to get all mushy right now, but you I just wanted to let you know that without these social elements of the web, and your involvement in my life (even the most mundane aspects), I would have continued to feel stuck, bored, depressed and pointless.

So thank YOU for being there for me, for inspiring me – all of you! You guys rock and I have a special place in my heart for each an every one of you.

Happy Friday my friends!

XXX