Posted January 13th, 2009 by justBcoz in Mumblings []
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But its got squat to do with anyone else. Promise.


You know, I honestly think that in *my* case, PMS stands for POST Menstrual Syndrome! For goodness’ sake, what’s with all the grouchiness AFTER the Great Flood?

I think my body’s a bit wonky with all this hormone crap and I wouldn’t be surprised if I discovered that I somehow got a double dose in the womb … like I ran around to join the back of the queue again after I got my rations. Idiot.

And, even more freaking idiotic – I COMPLETELY undid all my hard work at gym yesterday by eating ice cream :-( No, not just one, and no, not even two. Hells, not even three. Nope, I had to go and devour FOUR of the farking things. I hate my relationship with food, it totally sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah … newsflash for those of you who don’t know yet: I am a binge eater. I have a problem with food. It’s a nasteh problem that found its awful way into my life a couple of years ago. (It’s all emotional, related to swallowing crap feelings and sabotaging myself … stuff that I still need to deal with.) So I’m feeling even more horrid about myself right now. Hrmph!

Anyhoo … ONE good thing about today … my cleaning lady is back.


I can finally stop stressing about trying to be Superwoman (while failing miserably at it) and reclaim my title as Domestic Un-Goddess. Aaaah … much better!

Laterz people xxx

PS Is it just me or are there more damn flies around than normal?

  1. Dad says:

    @JustBcoz Wasn’t there a book you were working through a while back that was helping? Maybe you should keep going through it and share it all with us. (us = all who love and care about you.)

  2. Glugster says:

    *quickly tip-toes away again, glancing over shoulder*

  3. Chris M says:

    Ice-cream rocks, especially Cookies and Cream flavour ;)

    I realise the huge contradiction bewteen eating bad food and gyming, but maximizing happiness is important, now for the long term, eating bad food won’t maximize happiness, but eating bad food definitely works in the short period, so forget about the journey ahead and enjoy the now, because that’ll make you feel great :) Besides, you always look great, so no more complaining :)

    With regards to the flies, definitely, I even had one in my apartment last night, that’s the first one since I moved in!

  4. justB[coz] says:

    @Dad … yes, there is. It’s called “Overcoming Binge Eating”. I kinda gave up on that a while back and I’ve thought about getting back into it but I just haven’t really wanted to face this whole issue – seems like a bit of an Everest for me!

    @Glugster … Noooooooo!!!! Come back!!! Sorry man … didn’t mean to scare you away LOL.

    @Chris … “you always look great” … ag, thanks so much Chris. I know, I’m not exactly Ten Ton Tessie (yet) but I’m damn uncomfortable and miserable in this bod right now. I want to fit into my clothes dammit! Sheesh … but I can’t have it both ways – I can’t have a problem with food AND have the body I want (and like). One of them HAS to go. That’s the reality. Meh.

    As for flies – grrrrrr. I spent about 20 minutes last night trying to spray one to death. How is it that they seem to know *exactly* when you’ve picked up a can of Doom? PSHEW …. GONE! Until you put the can down again hahaha :-)

  5. Chris M says:

    I understand what you’re saying. I have 2 pairs of pants, which I optimistically bought not too long ago and I can’t get them on (I refuse to do the lie down on bed trick), so I too am curbing the eating habits and attempting to get back into them. They’re gorgeous and have only been worn ONCE each!!!

    Flies might have small brains, but they’re clearly quite smart :P

  6. justB[coz] says:

    That’s really brilliant and I know you can do it :D

    I’d be happy if I could do that too – literally 80% of my clothes are unwearable *sob*

    Not training and eating badly for the last 7 months has resulted in me adding nearly 10kgs to my weight. That may not sound like a crisis to most people but on my 5ft3 frame, it’s MASSIVE!

    Eish …

  7. Dad says:

    Get back to the book already!

  8. B says:

    Well, I am hitting the gym again in all earnest on monday.. in the meantime I getting my training schedule up and running and planning it to succeed.. I will be fit by the end of the year or die trying..

    … we can do this together.. what you say?

  9. laura says:

    Does anyone have a healthy relationship with food? I binge eat when I get stressed – it gets bad! I am like a starved locust – I even devour stuff I dont like!

    I just force myself to go to gym often – just seems to make me feel a little better!

    Hope tomorrow is better

  10. justB[coz] says:

    Hello B !!

    How often are you going to go to gym? I’m going 3 x a week at the moment for about 50 minutes a session. I’m gonna see how that goes as I build my strength and fitness up and then increase the frequency. At the moment I am SO sore the day after training that I can’t go on consecutive days.

    The training is ok. I can handle that … it’s the bloody eating that kills me. Like now, for instance. This is SO typical: I didn’t get time to eat breakfast, I got roped into stuff as soon as I said hi to everyone this morning. I managed to squeeze in a sarmie for lunch, but haven’t eaten anything since. And everyone’s gone home. So now (7.20pm), I’m totally STARVING! And guess what? There’s nothing ready or prepared to eat. So what do I do? Right about now is when I’d just start grabbing whatever I can get my hands on!! And eat, and eat, and eat. Mindlessly. Or mindfully and just think “fucket, I don’t care, I’m now hungry and bored and I just want to eat.”


    So yeah … that’s my downfall. This is my danger time. I’m actually still sitting here in front of my machine so as to avoid the damn Cookie Monster WAH!

    Oyness. I really have to sort this out.

  11. justB[coz] says:

    @Laura … well HI there and big welcomes :D

    Good question! Yes, I think there ARE people who have a healthy relationship with food. Take Sir G, for instance. He just CANNOT relate to any of this at all. He eats ONLY to fuel his body and he NEVER binges. If he has any issues with weight, it’s because he hasn’t been to gym for a while, not because he’s been overeating at all.

    I’m going to precis the chapters of the book I’ve been reading and then carry on writing summaries of each chapter as I read them for everyone. This is CLEARLY a very common problem and eating is 80% responsible for your body shape and weight, NOT exercise.

    But this is classic me these days – I know ALL the theory! Hells, I’ve done umpteen Body for Life Challenges and lived like a fitness model!! But these days, I just can’t seem to get my head in the right place and make it happen.


    Anyway, I have a session with my Personal Torturer tomorrow so that’ll make me feel better :-)

  12. Dad says:

    Dear All – I don’t care what anybody else says or thinks but the most important meal of the day, and it should be the biggest meal of the day, is breakfast. There really is no excuse for not setting aside 10/15 minutes to eat a good healthy breakfast. Biggest excuse is “but I can’t eat so early in the morning”. Sure you cant if you have eaten a huge supper the night before because you were starving!!
    Big breakfast – mid-morning snack (fruit, provita etc.), reasonable lunch (salad with a bit of chicken), mid afternoon snack, and light supper at least 2 hours before you go to bed.

  13. Dad says:

    By the way just love the photo!!