Posted August 17th, 2008 by justBcoz in Personal []
Tags: , ,

I’ve just had a long chat with Son#1, about what he needs from his dad and I and also, what he doesn’t want from us.

What he needs is for us to “get our shit together”.

What he doesn’t want is for the two of us to get into a conflict over what happened in our relationship in front of him. He says he’s not interested in that and he doesn’t care. But at the same time he acknowledges that it’s affected him and we need to sort ourselves out.

He doesn’t want me to take any emails with me – he got pissed off when he read yesterday’s post and says he’ll walk out of the Family Session if I bring/show them.

So yeah, I’m a LITTLE bit confused … was my original instinct to try and keep our crap out of his way correct? Did I make a mistake in thinking I need to arm myself with the truth in back and white?

I’m trying to deal with my shit. And actually, I think I’m doing pretty damn well, especially in recent weeks. I want NOTHING more than to put all this pain I’ve been carrying BEHIND me, so we can ALL move on with our lives … I KNOW it’s affected everyone around me, especially my kids.

When, if EVER, does that moment of closure arrive and how do I make that happen?

Do I leave things as is, or do I contest the lies?

I want to do what’s right here – for both me and my kids.

Crapness!!

But it was a great talk, I loved that he came to me and vented constructively :-)