Posted August 6th, 2008 by justBcoz in Personal []
Tags: ,

We have just reached a point where the pieces don’t fit anymore …

By mutual decision and agreement, Sir G and I have extricated ourselves from a personal relationship that is not doing either of us any good right now. We each feel that we are not getting what we want and need from being together at this point in time and we’ve realised that we can’t rely on each other for sustained happiness. This is true.

We need time and space apart to find our own lights, to reconnect with the outside world and our inner selves. Sir G feels like he’s lost himself a bit and I know I need to rebuild my life. I need to focus on me and I need to focus on my kids.

As hard is it is right now – and yes, it feels painfully shitty – we both know that this is the right thing.

We are both struggling today, feeling a bit dazed and disorientated. Things are going to feel foreign for a while but in the long run, the breakup is best for us. On this we agree.

I know he loves me deeply. I love him more than I am able to show him.

There are no plans, no goals and no finish lines. We’ll just concentrate on our own individual personal lives for now and look forward to a brighter future unfolding … whatever it holds …

  1. SaulK says:

    Never a fun situation but hopefully time apart works out for all.

  2. MsBehavn says:

    Wow – talk about a tough week!!! Hope you’re all doing okay, hon


  3. Ches says:

    I often wonder if love ever conquers all…

  4. justB[coz] says:

    MsB – it’s getting harder as the day goes by, for both of us … but we’re doing ok-ish, I guess …

    Wow yes, tough, tough times.

    Ches – I think romantic love will take us to a point, but thereafter I don’t see how it’s impossible to have a successful relationship without unconditional love.
    Unconditional love starts with ourselves but we can’t experience this if there are problems or issues within us that haven’t been recognised, dealt with (changed), or accepted.
    Any dissatisfaction we feel about or towards another person (expressed in the form of an “unhappy relationship”) is only because we recognise traits within them that reflect our own perceived faults.
    We have to accept ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, faults and all, completely and unconditionally, before we can do the same for another person.

    I’m not there yet …

  5. Ches says:

    Very true…it’s finding that unconditional love that’s so tough…or just having the patience to wait for it.

  6. Sir G says:

    Love does conquer all. We just let all conquer love sometimes.

  7. Ches says:

    Well said…

    Is all everything if it isn’t love? Who says life’s path should be walked alone?

    But I’m getting myself into deep unknown territory here…hope it works out for you both.

  8. justB[coz] says:

    I don’t think anyone has all the answers Ches :-)
    Working this kinda stuff out for ourselves is probably all part of the journey …
    And walking alone is not very appealing to me, in fact it’s downright scary!! I’ve never been a single adult – I got together with the X when I was 19 and we were married 2 years later. Then, after we split up (during our 18 month separation) Sir G came into my life …

  9. Sir G says:

    Thanks Chez. I think love is where life starts and ends. Thats all we have. Everything else is a distraction. As Justbcoz says, it starts with yourself. You can be without a partner and have a life full of love. Its the way you see the world – everyone and everything around you. But love is really meant to be shared. I think there would never be any problems in relationships if a relationship was just an expression of the awe of one anothers true beauty. We just let too many other things get in the way. Its like those inexpressible unrelayable moments of intimacy where nothing else matters. If we could all live in those moments then everything would always be perfect.

  10. Dad says:

    Some are born and left in dustbins and some die alone in the gutter so not
    all is love.
    Love and life can not and do not exist in a vacuum and can never be perfect
    because we as human beings are imperfect.
    In the first bloom of love (puppy love?)very little of the practical side of
    life exists and all the little imperfections of our loved ones are glossed
    As time goes by (weeks, months even years) the love scales of our senses are
    slowly peeled back.
    Because no one is perfect, our true self with all our faults and weaknesses,
    is exposed and can be too much for the other or ones self to accept.
    How can he / she love me, want to be with me with all these bad faults?
    Until one accepts who they are (faults and all) It is very difficult to
    accept the faults of someone else.
    I believe true friendship and total trust mixed in with love are the basis
    for a long term relationship.

  11. Sir G says:

    @Dad – Dustbins and gutters have little to do with love. Some can live in the street and have more love than many rich bankers. When i was speaking about love i was speaking of an ideal. I wasnt talking about romantic love either. Not infatuation. Its not about that at all. All i was saying is that i believe in what it could be. I know all the practical arguments. I know you are a practical man. I respect that. I just believe that life shouldnt be lived as a formula. That is just the way i see it.

  12. B says:

    AAAh man… that is just awful.. You love each other.. come on man.. dont make me point out the obvious!.. besides the fact that you get regular nookie.. love is not something that happens all the time..

    Hope you both come to your senses and stop being so dem reasonable.. flippen heck.. oi.. voi.. ill be back..i need to think about this abit..

  13. SwissTwist says:

    Hope it gets easier as each day passes and your friendship remains strong.. *hugs to you both*

  14. justB[coz] says:

    @B – you’re not supposed to confuzz me like that!

    @SwissTwist – hmmmm … we’ve always had an amazing friendship, Sir G and I. He’s one of the few people around who doesn’t think I’m scary and intimidating. (I know, what’s up with that?? Freaks me out …!)

    No seriously, we just kinda “clicked”, so easily and so strongly. I don’t think our friendship is going anywhere. I hope not …