Posted August 5th, 2008 by justBcoz in Personal []
Tags: , , ,

Today is probably gonna be another tough one …

This afternoon sees me going to another Family Counseling session at the clinic with Son#1 and the Terrible Tag Team. This time however, there’s a new variable in the equation … the X!

I’m trying not to stress about it but OMG, I’m nervous as all hell. It’s been years since he and I were in a therapy session together and the memories are NOT good!

Me sitting there feeling helpless as he shoots me down and tells the therapist what a cold-hearted bitch I am.

Him pretending to be into the therapy when he actually has no interest in trying to fix us anymore.

Me wondering what the hell else I can do to try and save things, bewildered at his apathy (little did I know!)

Him playing games with my mind, twisting my words, taking events out of context, making me think I am crazy …

There is still so much between us that is rotten; so much that hasn’t been resolved. I have been able to see him person, yes, but it took me 2.5 years to reach that point. Since then, we’ve never been any deeper than a casual chat.

I just don’t know how it’s going to play out today.

Oh boy …



UPDATE @ 5.10pm

I’m back … and I survived … and it really wasn’t that bad :D

I didn’t flip out. I didn’t get all emo. I didn’t lose the plot.

I was cool, I was calm, I was controlled.

We went there to listen to our boy, to focus on him, to hear him out, to express our concerns and expectations.

And we did just that – we left our personal shit out of the situation …

It was a good session :-)

  1. StevenMcD says:

    well good luck! I’ll be thinking of you and your boy.

    Good luck and “May the force be with you” ;)

  2. justB[coz] says:

    Holy crap Steve!!! You wouldn’t have known this but that particular phrase, “may the force be with you” has a VERY special meaning in my life. Wow … that’s just about the most amazing thing you could have said!

  3. Can’t you just shoot him and save yourself the anticipation and suspense?

  4. cath says:

    Thinking of you my friend. Never fear, your army is behind you X

  5. justB[coz] says:

    LOL @ Richard … I won’t deny that murder hasn’t crossed my mind before!! A woman scorned and all that …

    Oh Cath, “my army” … hmmmm :-)

    You guys ROCK!

  6. MsBehavn says:

    I hate to say this but … you’re going to be okay. I honestly hope that today isn’t as hard as you anticipate.

    Thinking of you xo

  7. justB[coz] says:

    MsBehavn … Thank you … and I AM going to be ok, yes :D

    I’ve had a few hours to get myself mentally prepared for this.

    You’ve raised a critical issue – ANTICIPATION. The idea that it’s going to be hard is simply the result of my fearful anticipation.

    BOLLOCKS to that!

    *gives fear the finger*

  8. StevenMcD says:

    Thats the way to do it! I’m glad that my little star wars comment made your day :)