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Or at least, that’s how I feel …

Hmm … I’m just kind of going through the motions in my life right now and not feeling very motivated to put in more energy or effort. Perhaps it’s just because I’m exhausted. I haven’t been sleeping much for well over a month now and I’m starting to feel like I’m running on empty. Buggeration! I don’t know WHAT the problem is, but I keep waking every 2 hours or so – wide-bloody-awake – and then I can’t get back to sleep. It’s damn annoying, I tell you.

I was chatting to Sir G about my “stuck”, going-nowhere-listlessness this morning and he reckons that a lot of it has to do with this house. I think I agree with him. There’s terrible energy here, it’s completely draining! So I need to think more seriously about moving. I put it out of my mind because I believed that I just didn’t have the finances to make it happen, but perhaps it’s time to just bite the bullet and go for it? OMG, I don’t even want to think about what a logistical nightmare that’s going to be!!

In the meantime though, what I *can* do is make sure I get out the house more. I seriously don’t do that enough. I had such a good time at Alba Lounge on Saturday evening – it was so great to meet up with everyone (and to meet some new people), and it once again reminded me how good it is for me to get out and about and hang out with friends … I’m going to make a REAL effort to do more of that. I’m going to go out to movies and eat out at restaurants and invite people to join me! I’m going to be forward and ask people if I can come visit them (wah!) and just generally make sure I’m not stuck between these four walls day after day after day after …

You get the picture, right?

Mmk.

I haven’t really done any of that stuff before because well, I’m basically a single parent at home now and I’ve never felt comfortable leaving my kids at home on their own. As you know, Son#1 doesn’t live here anymore so I’ve been even *more* wary about going out and leaving Son#2 by himself. But, I’ve been chatting to a few people about this and they all seem to reckon that he’s 15 now and old enough to be left on his own for some time, so I can go out for a bit.

So, this is a turning point for me. I’m taking the bull by the proverbial horns and forcing myself to get out of my staying-at-home-all-the-time rut.

Now, I just need some sleep and then I’m good to go.

Wish me luck!