This will be the 3rd Christmas to serve as a painful reminder that my family is broken.
Christmas is the saddest day of the year for me.
Besides that, it’s damn hard work and fucking expensive.
I hate it. I’m dreading it.
Yes, I am The Grinch.
This will be the 3rd Christmas to serve as a painful reminder that my family is broken.
Christmas is the saddest day of the year for me.
Besides that, it’s damn hard work and fucking expensive.
I hate it. I’m dreading it.
Yes, I am The Grinch.
Cath, my beautiful sweet Cath … I know you tell me that I inspire YOU but frigging hell chick!! Do you have ANY idea how much you make me think? How much you make me examine myself? How much you make me appreciate all the little things in life? I watch you tweet and blog, I’ve spent 2 days with you in person and I am continuously AMAZED by you. Yes, YOU! You who have been to hell and back and sometimes get an unexpected call-back into that turmoil … you are a treasure trove full of love, wisdom and strength.
ExMi … I hope so, I really do. I so hope that you can break that depressing cycle of best-forgotten Christmases and start a NEW cycle of annual magic with your NEW family 🙂 Christmas with little kids is divine, so just let yourself get lost in their wonder and amazement and ENJOY!
I am The Grinch too.
My Boyfriend adores and looks forward to Xmas every year. Why? Because he doesn’t come from broken home like I do. He’s never had to schlepp between parents’ houses, and argue over who gets to have it at their house this year.
I hope I can get over this, for The Kid’s sake – because he’s going to love xmas. I don’t want to ruin it for him, and pass on my jaded views and experiences.
I’m trying.
Really hard though.
Good luck.
When I landed in some horrible world about two/three years ago in a land of chronic depression…
My therapist asked me what I wanted for my daughter.
I told her, that I wanted the ‘normal’, ‘sterile’, life for her that I felt i’d never had.
I told her that I wanted her life to be totally perfect, without harm, and without incident.
My therapist at the time looked at me and said “okay. and how do you suppose you can make that happen?”
I said I didn’t know.
A year later, she brought me back to that question. and asked me to evaluate my life in terms of that ‘vision’ i had.
Did I think my child felt loved and nurtured? I answered yes.
Did I think my child was kept as safe from harm as I possibly could make it? I answered yes.
Did I think my child was living the happiest life I could give her? I answered no.
What did I think I could change? I said I wish I could give her more material things.
She then went on to ask me what was the most important thing in my life? I told her, the people I have in my life.
She asked me again, Did I think my child was living the happiest life I could give her, with the people that are in it? I answered yes.
So, no, it’ not picture perfect. The picture is perfect because it’s a picture. It’s not real life. That you can eat and breathe and love and hold close to you. Well, you could hold a picture close to you but it would probably crumple.
The picture is perfect because it’s a picture. It’s not life. And life is as perfect as you let it be. And my heavens above, Sue, you do your best and beyond for your family. And it’s YOURS. All yours. And you made it. So, look up from the picture, and breathe in the smell of your life.
You’ll see. It’s as its meant to be.
/Sorry about the long comment 🙂
Talita 🙂
Thank you xxx
You are, of course, 100% correct! Picture perfect is never gonna happen and I’m happy and grateful and privileged to have my beautiful family.
God bless B’s pompoms, I agree with her. So it’s not ‘perfect’ – how many pple have picture perfect holidays? Just enough to irritate you I know but still; you’re not forced to spend time with pple you hate and you have two gorgeous boys and that’s family. Keep well k? Hugs T 🙂
@Amod – Nice suggestion, am taking a look right now, good on you 🙂
If you guys are looking for a spot, there’s always Synergy on 7th at Mandela Rhodes house. Dunno if they’re doing anything for NYE but it’s worth checking out, methinks.
Neh. Gonna have to think fast! Ark … the *pressure* …
I enquired about a business suite at the Radisson Hotel the other day, turned out to be R6800 for the night, so I quickly scrapped that idea. The cheapest room was R4800, but that wasn’t a nice fancy one, hehe. I’ve looked around a little and see that the Protea Group have some alright prices, closer to R2000, but the most important thing would be to have a place which has an entertainment area downstairs with a vibe as well. Most hotels seem to be booked out or require at least 4-7 days of occupation. So this idea seems to be failing. Damn though, would be so much fun!
Another idea was a party on the roof at Perspectives, but after speaking to several people in the block, it’s clear that most people go out rather than staying in, so that’s another idea failed.
I refuse to go to the beach, I refuse to go to a dof dof club, so the options are narrowing down a bit too quickly!
Aaahhh … New Years!
I have no plans for that yet … I wonder what’ll be happening in and around Cape Town?
My last New Year turned out to be pretty disappointing and not much fun at all, so I’m keen for a GOOD ONE this time around!
I would love to join, unfortunately I’ve got a family which needs me to be there.
What about New Years???
Mmk … I’ve been rather miff about this … been thinking about the potentially very sucky upcoming festive season all day.
2 Shitty Christmases was enough – time for me to change that!
Thank you all for reminding me that the family I DO have are what’s important here.
And for my friends in Cape Town who don’t have family to be with on Christmas day, get in touch with me please … I *know* there are one or two of you with no plans. Don’t be shy – come spend the day with cow_grrrl and co.
😀
Far be it from me to preach on the value of family.
So I’m just going to leave you with this quote.
It meant a lot to me and I’m sure you’ll get something out it too.
R527,90 for labour
R 78,20 for parts.
CheersThanks.
🙁
I can offer a virtual hug.. *hug*
Meh.
Having an emo day.
Perhaps I can get more into the spirit of things when the work mania subsides …
I’d like to have a cool “festive” season for a change. That would be nice.
I understand your pain and hear what you say.. But i dont agree with you that your family is broken..
You and your boys.. you are family.. and just because you are no longer married does not mean its broken.. it just means adjustments are made and its christmas cheer with the people who really matter!!
Christmas is a tough period.. So grab your family.. hold them real tight and together you can face any and all adversities.
I am here for you.. on the sidelines.. pom-poms in hand..
yesterday when we were decorating the christmas tree, cam asked me if her dad could do it with her. and i said no he was too busy.
when she asked if he would be there for her upcoming operation, i said no, hes too busy
when she asked if he would be with her for christmas, i said no, hes too busy.
busy with things other than her. sadly, im not lying on any of these scores. i really wish I was.
Strength to you my friend.
i agree with you on this subject, it has become or maybe has always been about the expenses. and who the F said that family should meet on this one day no matter what, christmas for me only exists when people that i WANT to be with me are around to share gifts and play games. my views on the actual meaning of this day has changed due to my personal beliefs, but like any other holiday… its a great day for a guilt free day off… in reality it is just another day.. i will be making my own new traditions seeing as my life is very different to what it was. some of my friends are like” must be hard not to have family here for christmas”…I say BULL its hard not to have family around Period… maybe if i had kids i would make it more of a thing…but only for their little spirits. anyways if you’re a grinch then i’m a grinch too.. Hey Mr.Bean never had a problem sending himself a christmas card or two..;p
HUGS from the freezing and snowing USA.