I have a love-hate relationship with Sundays.
On the one hand, I relish the opportunity to be completely lazy, to be able to do absolutely bugger all for the day and not feel guilty about it. And I particularly welcome the silence of Sundays on the weekends that the kids are not here, like today. Normally, their music is blasting from each of their rooms and my ears can’t really handle the resulting chaotic mashups (my ears are ridiculously sensitive.) Neither can my head for that matter. Actually, it seriously stresses me out but I don’t say anything about it to them because I want them to be able to play their own tunes. I don’t want to be one of those nagging, whiney moms who are always saying “KEEP IT DOWN!”
But on the other hand, being alone at home on Sundays is so boring for me! I feel too damn lazy to do anything about it though. Gah. And then I get down because I’m feeling bored and lonely and unproductive … and so the deterioration begins …
I can’t remember a Sunday that didn’t turn pear-shaped! Seriously, some way or another, no matter what, Sundays ALWAYS find me becoming frustrated and stressed and depressed … from about this time in the afternoon onwards.
So I’m sitting here at home alone now. Until now, I’ve kept myself busy with housework (I’ve now completely cleaned up the lounge and dining room), not *daring* to really relax or sit down because then I know the loneliness will set in and I may just turn into a psycho bitch. Again.
I confuse myself. I *know* I’m an introvert and that being around people is extremely draining for me and yet, when I *am* alone like this I totally hate it. WTF? *sigh*
The kids will be back at about 5 this afternoon and for a change, I’d like to have a cool Sunday evening with them, one without drama or tension. I’m hoping that all their homework will have been done over the weekend, that there’s no last minute panic to get something sorted. That totally freaks me out!
I’m holding all digits for a chilled Sunday evening with good vibes.
What to do now? Hmmm … I’m going to HAVE to relax a bit now dammit – I’m pooped from all the cleaning, sorting and organising over the last 2 days. I’ve got 3 books I’m busy with, so I’ll probably just tuck into one of those to keep my mind busy until the kids get back. Or perhaps I’ll have a nap … dunno. Blegh.