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Today is probably gonna be another tough one …

This afternoon sees me going to another Family Counseling session at the clinic with Son#1 and the Terrible Tag Team. This time however, there’s a new variable in the equation … the X!

I’m trying not to stress about it but OMG, I’m nervous as all hell. It’s been years since he and I were in a therapy session together and the memories are NOT good!

Me sitting there feeling helpless as he shoots me down and tells the therapist what a cold-hearted bitch I am.

Him pretending to be into the therapy when he actually has no interest in trying to fix us anymore.

Me wondering what the hell else I can do to try and save things, bewildered at his apathy (little did I know!)

Him playing games with my mind, twisting my words, taking events out of context, making me think I am crazy …

There is still so much between us that is rotten; so much that hasn’t been resolved. I have been able to see him person, yes, but it took me 2.5 years to reach that point. Since then, we’ve never been any deeper than a casual chat.

I just don’t know how it’s going to play out today.

Oh boy …

*breathe*

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UPDATE @ 5.10pm

I’m back … and I survived … and it really wasn’t that bad 😀

I didn’t flip out. I didn’t get all emo. I didn’t lose the plot.

I was cool, I was calm, I was controlled.

We went there to listen to our boy, to focus on him, to hear him out, to express our concerns and expectations.

And we did just that – we left our personal shit out of the situation …

It was a good session 🙂